Know Your Deen

Islamic QA for North America

June 2, 2025
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
0 comments

Do’s and Dont’s of Umrah!

Q: If one is thinking of going for Hajj and Umrah, what are some Do’s and Dont’s? Jak (Text message)

A: DO’s for Umrah: Before Departure:
·         Make a sincere niyyah.
·         The steps of Umrah are: Tawaf, Sa’i, and shaving of the head. While 2 opinions exist: one group says: so long as you cut your hair, it is sufficient, this is incorrect.  For a male that has long hair, they may cut the ends of it, for the rest of us, it is best to shave. Whenever 2 opinions exist, use the safer of the both.
·         Unscented toiletries.
·         Try and clear all non-fixed debts, seek forgiveness and make a will if needed.

 While in Ihram:
·         Say Talbiyah often: “Labbayk Allahumma labbayk…”
·         Maintain wudu as much as possible.
·         Be gentle and patient. No arguing, etc. Time for full-on Sabr!
·         Cover the awrah properly. Men and women must not expose what should not be exposed, doing so can affect the prayer and Umrah.
·         Avoid harming anyone physically or verbally. This is a challenge with massive crowds, this is where the reward is.

 During Umrah Rituals:
·         Tawaf: Begin at the Black Stone or that which gives the signal for its alignment, circle the Kabah 7 times counterclockwise. Sometimes for ease, people may perform from the top floor, this calls for less shoving and pushing, even though the walk is more, the reward too will be more. Once this is done, if one wishes to go on the bottom floors, they are welcome, at least by this time the main task has been accomplished.
·         Sa’i: Walk between Safa and Marwah 7 times, starting at Safa.
·         Getting out of Ihram:
o    Men: Best to shave. Trimming is for those that have ‘zulfa (Long hair up to the ears and beyond)’
o    Women: Cut a fingertip’s length from the end of the hair.

Bonus things to do: :
·         Make dua abundantly—especially between the Yemeni Corner and Black Stone.
·         Pray the 5 daily prayers in Masjid al-Haram for maximum reward. One would be amazing how many go all the way and just pray in the hotel while enjoying buffet.
·         Stay engaged in dhikr, tasbeeh, and salawat upon the Rasool ﷺ.
·         Make dua for others—Umrah is a time of accepted supplications while drinking lots of ZamZam!

DON’TS for Umrah while in Ihram:
While in Ihram, although the following are known to all, the books make mention of them, thus our sharing:
·         No stitched clothing (for men).
·         No perfume or scented items while in Ihram. Once out of Ihram, it would be fine.
·         Don’t trim hair or nails while in Ihram.
·         No hunting, killing insects, or pulling up plants.
·         No marital relations, flirtation, or intimacy.
·         Avoid arguments, backbiting or foul speech.

Major reward points:
·         Don’t push or shove—especially during Tawaf or at the Black Stone.
·         Don’t recite loudly if it disturbs others.
·         Don’t follow cultural myths—stick to the Sunnah.

General Mistakes to Avoid:
·         Don’t skip any part of Umrah—each step is essential. (You would be surprised how many say, but Allah knows what’s in my heart!)
·         Don’t be negligent about prayer times. You would be amazed to find out, how many miss out on their Salah during Umrah!)
·         Don’t argue with staff, they do what they are told to do, or be upset with other pilgrims.

Pro Tips:
·         ️ Show kindness—Allah loves the gentle.
·         Carry a small dua book or app. Books can be confiscated, for some believe you may be saying things that are not correct. So memorize a few good duas in advance. Add duas in your languages as well.
·         Use only unscented products in Ihram.
·         Stay hydrated and take breaks. We like people to come back alive with an accepted Hajj/Umrah!

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

P.s. Sorry to respond so late, saw your inquiry very late in our inbox. Apologies!

June 1, 2025
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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Student does not mean No Udhiya

Q: I had $11 472 dollars. I am an international student. Do I do Qurban?

A: You have over the amount of Nisab. As such, you would need to do Qurbani.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

P.s. Does not mean you have to spend all that you have, may way to do it economically as well. Do it, and inshaAllah, Allah (SWT) would give you Barakah.

May 30, 2025
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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‘lets keep this simple Bro’ –really?!

Q: Ok lets keep this simple Bro. If I got haram moneys i mean really haram money and I did Qurbani like Udhiya, does some of my sins get washed away?

A: Offering Qurbani (Udhiyah) with haram income is not accepted — it brings no reward, only financial loss. Intentionally doing so is a sin, not an act of devotion. Rasool ﷺ said: Indeed, Allah is pure and accepts only that which is pure (Hadith)

If your earnings are unlawful, then even a noble act like Qurbani becomes void of reward.

Purify your income. Earn halal, and then offer your Qurbani — and not only will it be accepted, but Allah ﷻ will reward you abundantly and forgive your sins.

Their meat will not reach Allah, nor will their blood, but what reaches Him is your taqwa (God-consciousness).(Surah Al-Hajj 22:37)

So give from what is pure, with a pure heart — and Allah will multiply it beyond measure.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

P.s. Asking such a question has either one of two elements to it: you are religiously messed up, or you getting consciousness to this religion. I am hoping it is is the latter, Insha’Allah. Join us for Eid prayers, if you are local at Dos Vientos. Eid Mubarak!

May 30, 2025
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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Feedtheummah.com Qurbani needs

FeedtheUmmah.com

Qurbani orders for 2025

Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakathu from FeedtheUmmah.com

Please place your order for Qurbani at FeedtheUmmah.com

We will email you once your qurbani is done, and qurbani will only be done after Eid Salaah takes place here in California.

Jazakallah Khair

Admin

May 30, 2025
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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did not do Qurbani for my entire

Q: Q: I did not do Qurbani for my entire life and I always had the money. I realeize i was wrong and want to make good on my past. What do I do? Jak

A: For every Qurbani you missed in the past, it is necessary (wājib) to make it up. Since Qurbani is a wājib act for those who meet the conditions, any missed obligation must be fulfilled. However, unlike the regular Qurbani where one may consume a portion of the meat, the compensatory Qurbani (for missed years) must have all of its meat given entirely in charity (ṣadaqah) to the poor. You are not permitted to eat from it.  

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

May 7, 2025
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
0 comments

woman has been abused

Question: Is divorce allowed if the woman has been abused multiple times over four years?(4 times in 4 years) These attacks have left marks and were not warranted. There was zero effort made on behalf of the abuser for counseling or anger management. I have left him numerous times with false promises of counseling. The last fight left me with a black eye. I did not physically attack him at all. I do not want to bear patience. I do not want to talk to any scholar about how it’s my fault. I do not want to live in fear anymore. I feel like 4 years with no prospect of hope is long enough. I do not want mediation. I do not want to talk to scholar with him. All I want is a divorce so that I can have my peace back.

Answer: No one is required to remain in an abusive marriage. Islam does not ask anyone to live in fear, endure (repeated) harm, or accept false promises without sincere change. Rasool ﷺ said: There should be neither harm nor reciprocating harm.

You have demonstrated patience. Your safety, dignity, and peace of mind are also important, and Islam honors those rights. If your husband has repeatedly abused you, caused you physical harm and made no genuine effort to seek help or change, you have the right to leave.

Islam grants women the right to seek divorce (khulaʿ) when a marriage causes harm or becomes unbearable. That said, how you separate should also reflect your faith, and this includes ensuring that the process is sound according to Islamic guidelines. This may require consulting a trusted, qualified scholar, not for judgment, but for guidance on matters such as the proper type of divorce, the waiting period (ʿiddah), and your rights. (There are councils (eg: Shura council) in California that can assist in this regard.

May Allah (SWT) make matters easy for you, Insha’Allah.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

Disclaimer: This response is based solely on the information you have shared. Every situation has multiple perspectives, and it’s important to acknowledge that. That being said, your case appears serious and deserves proper attention. Given the nature of this marital issue, speaking with a qualified therapist may also be beneficial.

May 5, 2025
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
0 comments

Qurbani – Udhiya

Asalamualikum,

Qurbani requests are coming in and we kindly invite you to visit FeedTheUmmah.com. As a valued supporter, your contribution and participation are crucial in fulfilling this important obligation — Wajib/Sunnah.

By visiting FeedTheUmmah.com, you will find all the necessary information and resources to participate in this noble cause. Your involvement will bring relief and blessings to those less fortunate.

Jazakallah for your continued support and may Allah (SWT) reward you abundantly, Ameen.

May 5, 2025
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
0 comments

Cannot be married and not married at the same time!

Q: Asalamu Alaykum, I have a daughter that had ketib Iktab, so she is islamicly married. Her wedding is xxxx (date withheld for privacy) InshaAllah. My question is, how intimate can they be. She tells me her research said they can be as intimate as they want, but from what I understand is that they have to wait until after their wedding to have intercourse. I understand culture plays a role is some of our decisions and understanding , but I want to abide by what Allah asks of us. Please help me understand, what is the right thing to do? Jazakum Allah khairan

A: Walaikumsalam WRB:

Congratulations to each of you. May Allah (SWT) give barakah to the couple and their respective families, ameen.

When a couple is married in accordance with both Islamic principles and the laws of the land, there are no religious restrictions on the levels of intimacy they may share. If cultural customs suggest otherwise—especially when they introduce unnecessary delays or suppress the emotional and physical rights of either spouse—then Islamic guidance must take precedence over cultural expectations.

Islam upholds both modesty and mutual fulfillment within the marriage. Islam does not endorse deprivation or unjust restraint. While parents and elders may offer advice or express concern out of love or tradition, their role is advisory, not authoritative or that which contradicts Allah (SWT’s) commands. Once a marriage is valid, the couple deserves the freedom to grow together in love, trust, and emotional closeness—free from guilt, fear, or interference within the parameters of this Sacred religion.

Marriage in Islam is not merely a contract; it is a sanctuary. Within this sacred space, love, intimacy, and connection are not only permissible—they are divinely blessed.

May Allah (SWT) bless your daughter and son-in-law with deep affection, barakah, and a lifetime of peace and companionship. I understand the challenge of navigating the delicate balance between culture and religion. Alhamdulillah, they are now husband and wife. May Allah grant them success in both this world and the next. Ameen.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

April 18, 2025
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
0 comments

loan for collateral

Q: in islam if someone wants a loan from me can i request a collateral. How dose this work? (In person inquiry/after jummah salah/iccv)

A: In Islam it is permissible to ask for collateral (rahn رَهْن) when giving a loan, particularly to ensure that the lender is protected from loss—as long as it is done fairly and without exploiting the borrower.

What is Collateral in Islam?

Collateral (Arabic: rahn) is an item or property pledged by the borrower to the lender as a security against the debt. If the borrower fails to repay the loan, the collateral can be sold to recover the owed amount. It is also best that this is documented: If you are on a journey and cannot find a scribe, then let there be a pledge taken…” (2:283)  This ayah allows the use of a pledge (rahn) in the context of a debt, especially when formal documentation is not easily available. Rasool ﷺ himself took and gave collateral in his lifetime. Aisha (RA) said: Rasool ﷺ bought foodstuff from a Jew on credit and mortgaged his ﷺ iron armor to him. Rasool ﷺ gave his armor as collateral for a loan. Doing so in a society that needed to defend itself, giving ones most valued treasure was an armor, thus, showing good faith on the side of the one requesting it as well.

(Some) Conditions for Seeking Collateral:

  1. No Interest (Riba):
  2. Mutual Consent: The collateral must be agreed upon by both parties.
  3. No Exploitation: You can hold the item, but you cannot use it or profit from it unless the borrower gives explicit permission (and even then, scholars have detailed conditions. This is because one cannot exploit a situation and take unfair benefit of a situation. This could result in Riba).
  4. Transparent Terms: The loan terms and the details of the collateral should be clear and documented.
  5. Return of Collateral: Once the debt is repaid, collateral must be returned promptly in its ‘original’ condition.

If someone borrows $5,000 from you, you can say: I can give you the loan, but I would like to hold your car title as collateral until the debt is repaid. Once they repay, you return the title. If they don’t, and after appropriate communication and patience, you may sell the car to recover your $5,000—but nothing more. The excess money must be given back to the owner of the car.

Spirit of the Shariah: While collateral is allowed, Islam highly encourages leniency, mercy, and trust, especially toward those genuinely in need. Rasool ﷺ said: Whoever grants a respite to a debtor or waives the debt, Allah will shade him on the Day when there is no shade but His.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.

April 7, 2025
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
0 comments

lets hang out at the coffee bar–not!

Q: How does one respond: i told a guy that going to a particular coffee shop is resulting in a type of fitna, provocative dressing by Muslims, interactions that are not quite right for a Muslim, he says when you see something, it must not unfavorably affect you. Your faith must become stronger and you must do mujahada. In other words continue going and be strong. What are your thoughts on this matter? I only said what I said to improve my imaan it was not to judge the coffee place or those that attend it. Jazakallah

A: Every person must get to better understand themselves. This is the essence of muraqabah (vigilance) and self-awareness. When someone identifies a particular situation as spiritually harmful—like a place that stirs fitna in the heart and seeks to distance themselves from it, that decision should be respected and even encouraged. Recognizing one’s own weakness is not a flaw; it is a sign of sincerity. It reflects a heart that wants to please Allah (SWT) and safeguard it from potential spiritual maladies.

If someone offers the advice: ‘You should become stronger in faith’ in such a situation, that advice can be valuable if it is meant as motivation for long-term growth. We must also remember: strength of faith is a journey, not a switch. One does not become spiritually resilient overnight. There are steps—gradual and intentional steps that must be taken before a person can withstand trials without continuously faltering.

Your decision to avoid or limit yourself from that environment is not weakness; it is wisdom. In fact, it aligns more directly with the teachings of the Quran, which doesn’t merely instruct us to resist sin—but commands us to avoid the paths that lead to it. While Islam encourages mujahada—striving and strengthening our imaan in the face of trials, however, a key part of that striving includes recognizing harmful environments and protecting oneself from them. Or at the very least, being aware enough to stay spiritually alert while navigating them.

Rasool (SAW) said: Whoever among you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand. If (s)he cannot, then with his tongue. And if (s)he cannot, then with his heart—and that is the weakest level of faith. (Sahih Muslim) This hadith shows that even feeling disturbed by something and desiring good for others is part of our deen. Speaking up when something feels spiritually off is not judgment—it’s concern and should be taken as part of brotherhood, for part of brotherhood is guiding with compassion.

Different people respond to fitna differently. Not every test calls for direct confrontation. Sometimes, the strongest thing a believer can do is simply walk away. If something—whether a place, a habit, or an environment—is consistently tempting the gaze, disturbing the thoughts, or dulling the heart, then insisting on “just being stronger” while staying in that setting is like walking through fire expecting not to be burned.

Abdullah ibn Mas‘ud (رضي الله عنه) said: The believer sees his sins as if he is sitting beneath a mountain, afraid it will collapse upon him. The sinner sees his sins like a fly landing on his nose—he just brushes it away. (Adab al-Mufrad) Even the strongest of the Sahabah were cautious. They did not chase inner strength by exposing themselves to spiritual danger. Instead, they protected their hearts out of love and awe for Allah (SWT). This mindset is embedded in the Quran itself. Allah did not merely say: “Do not commit zina”—Allah (SWT) said: “Do not even approach zina.” (Surah Isra, 17:32)

The command is not just to avoid the sin, but to stay far from anything that leads to it—its paths, triggers, and environments. W are not angels. We are created emotionally fragile and physically weak in compartisn to the many other creation of the Almighty. We are also strongly influenced by what we see. We err, thus acknowledging such weakness and performing accordingly is called taqwa.

So whether you avoid certain places entirely, or choose to enter them with caution, it is not cowardice—it is intelligence. It is respect for your own spiritual fragility. This is also a noble form of mujahada. May (SWT) continue to guide you and bless you, InshaAllah, ameen.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.