Question: Salams Shaykh i come to friday and like your khutba and I feel you can best help me. I am addicted to pornography, some have said that marriage can change it, It is ramadaan and its so hard and this guilt of my dong this is killing me, please help me, jazakallah
Answer: Addiction, especially one that affects the mind, heart, and soul cannot be resolved with a mere Band-Aid solution. Please read each point carefully: 1) Every addiction must be treated as a serious matter that impacts one’s faith, mental well-being and relationships. 2) Islam encourages self-discipline, modesty, and seeking lawful means to fulfill desires while also acknowledging human struggles. 3) The deen provides practical, faith-based solutions rooted in self-control and seeking Allah’s help and you must be willing to accept this. If you disagree with these 3 starting points, move on, the rest may waste your time. If you can internalize these key truths—this is a serious problem, it affects faith, modesty, and has the potential to harm future relationships—you are ready to move forward. Otherwise, this discussion becomes nothing more than an intellectual/entertainment exercise without real benefit.
Now, let us break down your inquiry and its implications step by step:
1. Marriage Is Not a Guaranteed Solution: Marriage comes with its own set of responsibilities—financial stability, emotional energy, social commitment, compatibility and attraction. The easy accessibility of pornography has in many cases contributed to the delay of marriage, while also draining human energy through instant gratification. However, this short-term pleasure leads to long-term mental, physical and economic crises. It is an exchange that is simply not worth it. The Rasool ﷺ said: O young men! Whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity. (Mishkaat) If you are relying on marriage as a way out without addressing the addiction first, it will likely carry over into your marriage, potentially harming your spouse and future family life.
2. Address the Root Cause: Ask yourself: Why am I engaging in this behavior?
Is it due to a lack of halal love and intimacy, frustration, loneliness—or all of the above? If so, these are the real issues that need to be resolved. Trying to suppress the symptom without fixing the root cause will never (or very seldom) lead to lasting change.
If your addiction stems from loneliness, frustration, or a lack of halal intimacy, then yes, marriage can help—but only if you have already begun the process of self-discipline. The reality is that you will have to work VERY hard to accomplish this. And yes, people have done and so can you!
3. Your Effort to Change Is a Sign of Hope: The fact that you are asking this question—especially during Ramadan—means that you want to change. That is the first victory. Now, take the following steps:
Fast regularly after Ramadan—Rasool ﷺ recommended fasting as a means of controlling desires. If you are physically able, make fasting a consistent part of your life.
Create accountability—Set firm penalties for yourself if you slip, and establish rules that you do not break. You must be honest with yourself in this process.
Make consistent dua after each salah—Ask Allah (SWT) sincerely for His pleasure and protection from His displeasure. Recognize that this is not just about breaking a habit—it is about seeking Allah (SWT’s) help in transforming your soul.
4. Practical Steps to Eliminate Temptation: Get a phone without internet access—There are now phones available that remove access to harmful content. Consider switching to one.
Use the internet only in public spaces—Never isolate yourself with access to the internet. Keep yourself in open environments where others are present.
Install strong blockers—Use filters and accountability software to block explicit content. This is not about willpower alone—it’s about removing temptation from your environment.
May Allah (SWT) make it easy for you, inshaAllah, ameen.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.