Question: Is divorce allowed if the woman has been abused multiple times over four years?(4 times in 4 years) These attacks have left marks and were not warranted. There was zero effort made on behalf of the abuser for counseling or anger management. I have left him numerous times with false promises of counseling. The last fight left me with a black eye. I did not physically attack him at all. I do not want to bear patience. I do not want to talk to any scholar about how it’s my fault. I do not want to live in fear anymore. I feel like 4 years with no prospect of hope is long enough. I do not want mediation. I do not want to talk to scholar with him. All I want is a divorce so that I can have my peace back.
Answer: No one is required to remain in an abusive marriage. Islam does not ask anyone to live in fear, endure (repeated) harm, or accept false promises without sincere change. Rasool ﷺ said: There should be neither harm nor reciprocating harm.
You have demonstrated patience. Your safety, dignity, and peace of mind are also important, and Islam honors those rights. If your husband has repeatedly abused you, caused you physical harm and made no genuine effort to seek help or change, you have the right to leave.
Islam grants women the right to seek divorce (khulaʿ) when a marriage causes harm or becomes unbearable. That said, how you separate should also reflect your faith, and this includes ensuring that the process is sound according to Islamic guidelines. This may require consulting a trusted, qualified scholar, not for judgment, but for guidance on matters such as the proper type of divorce, the waiting period (ʿiddah), and your rights. (There are councils (eg: Shura council) in California that can assist in this regard.
May Allah (SWT) make matters easy for you, Insha’Allah.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.
Disclaimer: This response is based solely on the information you have shared. Every situation has multiple perspectives, and it’s important to acknowledge that. That being said, your case appears serious and deserves proper attention. Given the nature of this marital issue, speaking with a qualified therapist may also be beneficial.