Know Your Deen

Islamic QA for North America

February 13, 2023
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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Navigating Difficulties with Gratitude: A Three-Point Guide

In this world we will inevitably face difficulties, challnenges, various types of trials and tribulations. However, by keeping three important points in mind, we can cultivate a more positive and grateful outlook on life as mentioned by Ibn Abbas (RA): (1) it could have been worse, (2) it was in your matters of dunya and not in your deen, and (3) The tribulation is in this world and not in the hereafter. By reflecting on these points, we can shift our focus away from negativity and instead find comfort and resilience in our faith and spirituality.

Here are some insight into the three points:

  1. It could have been worse – This point encourages us to have a grateful and positive outlook on life, even in difficult situations. It is a reminder that there are always others who have it worse than we do and that we should count our blessings. By recognizing this, we can shift our focus away from what we lack and instead appreciate what we have.
  2. It was in your matters of dunya and not in your deen – This point highlights the distinction between our worldly affairs and our religious beliefs. Our material possessions and worldly status can be taken away from us, but our faith and spirituality are much more resilient and long-lasting. When faced with difficult situations, we can find comfort in knowing that our religious beliefs remain unaffected.
  3. The tribulation is in this world, and not in the hereafter – This point reminds us that the difficulties we face in this life are temporary and will eventually pass. Our ultimate goal should be to focus on our life in the hereafter, where we will be rewarded for our good deeds and hardships in this life. This perspective can help us to endure our difficulties with patience and perseverance, knowing that they will eventually come to an end and be replaced with a life of everlasting peace and joy.

By keeping these three points in mind, we can cultivate a more positive and grateful outlook on life, no matter no matter the types of challenges we may face.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

February 11, 2023
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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Coping with Earthquakes and Collective Trauma

What Happens After the Turkish Earthquake?

The impact of the earthquake in Turkey will be far-reaching and long-lasting, not just in terms of physical damage or even political consequences, but also in terms of the emotional and psychological harm caused to those directly affected. The trauma caused by the earthquake is likely to result in a high risk of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for many individuals.

To understand the emotional toll of such a disaster, it is helpful to consider the concept of collective trauma. Collective trauma refers to the shared emotional and psychological harm experienced by a group of people after a traumatic event or series of events. Earthquakes, such as the one in Turkey, can have a devastating impact on entire communities and cause widespread emotional and psychological harm.

Islam is a complete religion and way of life for Muslims. Muslim beliefs and practices serve as a source of comfort and hope in the face of trauma. After a traumatic event like an earthquake, Muslims directly or indirectly affected may respond in various ways. 

As one survivor who lost his wife, children, and grandchildren stated, “This has been the Decree of Allah, I am not going to oppose the Decree of Allah.” This kind of perspective is consistent with the call to Muslims to think in this way. It gives spritual strenght. It is important to note that while grieving is natural, it should not detract from core Islamic concepts. Although this can be a challenging mindset to achieve, it is a valuable lesson to learn from.

Actions we all can take as a people:

  • Seeking comfort and expressing fears through prayer while talking about it to out Allah (SWT) through dua.
  • Finding solace and support through communal collective prayers (duas) at the Musjid..
  • Receiving spiritual and emotional support from empathic imams and other religious and community leaders.
  • Turning to the Quran by reading and listening to it and reflecting upon the Sunnah for comfort and hope.
  • Helping others as a way to mitigate the effects of trauma and find purpose and hope.

It is important to acknowledge and address the root causes of collective trauma and provide those affected with the resources they need to heal and recover. By being empathetic, patient, and proactive in our response, we can help to limit the effects of collective trauma and support communities in the healing process.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

February 11, 2023
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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Stop the havock with the burnout and confirmation bias (Part2)

Islam emphasizes the importance of having a balance and moderation in all aspects of life, including work and personal relationships. In Islam, it is believed that burnout can be a result of neglecting one’s spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. The Rasool (SAW) is reported to have said: The strong person is not the one who can overpower another. The strong person is the one who can control themselves when angry. Strong not just in the physical sense, but emotionally, spritually, etc. Thus, Islam has an aspect of it that attributes burnout as a result of imbalanced priorities, where individuals prioritize worldly pursuits over their spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. It encourages individuals to prioritize their well-being and maintain balance in their lives by engaging in regular self-care, seeking support from loved ones, and connecting with Allah through prayer and reflection.

 Therefore, Muslims must take care of their spiritual, physical and mental wellbeing. These things affect our relationship with Allah (SWT). The human mind is very fragile and when incorrect ideas enter into it, it can damage or reduce positive thinking and outcomes. I would like to outline two things and how they can feed off each other. They are known as burnout and confirmation bias. The first of these two you may be familiar with, the latter may require added explanation.

Burnout is defined as a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress or dissatisfaction with one’s work. On the other hand, confirmation bias is the tendency to seek out information that confirms one’s preexisting beliefs and to ignore or dismiss information that contradicts those beliefs. When these two factors intersect, they can have a negative impact on individuals and make it difficult to address root causes of burnout and find effective solutions.

Biased thinking patterns reinforced by confirmation bias can limit an individual’s perspective and make it harder to recognize and consider alternative approaches to even everyday things. In short, the combination of burnout and confirmation bias can lead to a self-perpetuating cycle of negativity and stress that can be difficult to break free from. To prevent this from happening, it is important to be aware of one’s own biases and to actively work to broaden one’s perspective and consider different viewpoints.

The limit the adverse impact of both burnout and confirmation bias. Here are some steps that can help:

  1. Acknowledge and understand the presence of both burnout and confirmation bias. Recognizing when one is feeling burnt out and recognizing the presence of confirmation bias can be the first step in limiting their impact. Allah (SWT) commands us to reflect!
  2. Take time to recharge and refocus. Allowing time for rest and meditation can help reduce stress and prevent burnout. Engaging in spiritual activities bring joy and satisfaction and can help rebuild their resilience. Best time to do this is after each prayer with saying Subhanallah, Alhamdulliah etc. 33x’s
  3. Challenge and broaden one’s perspective. Actively seeking out information and viewpoints that challenge one’s existing limiting beliefs and biases in light of Quran and Sunnah.
  4. Seek support from others. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional can help individuals identify the root causes of their burnout and develop effective solutions.
  5. Establish healthy work-life boundaries. Setting clear boundaries between work and personal time can help to reduce stress and prevent burnout. Work matters stay at work, family matters stay at home.
  6. Never burden family with your toxic work matters. Talk about your problems with someone that cares to listen, and this someone may not always need to be your husband, wife or children. They have issues that may also need resolution. Do not compound it for them.

These five points can help understand burnout and its link to confirmation bias and reduce its adverse impact on mental and emotional well-being. This can include practicing self-awareness which sounds very easy but hard to do, being mindful of our surroundings and knowing who our friends truly are, reflecting on past experiences and decisions and being critical of self rather than others, after each prayer taking a break and engaging in meditation while seeking support from caring people. These simple steps done consistently enhance one’s thinking ability to think objectively and make decisions that are in one’s best interests, even in the face of potential burnout.  

By taking these steps, we can limit the adverse impact of burnout and confirmation bias and maintain a healthy physical, emotional, and mental and spiritual well-being, InshaAllah.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

February 9, 2023
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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Safe and Best Practices

Islam views spreading false information or false testimony as a serious matter and a prohibited action. In the Qur’an, Allah states: O you who believe! If a wicked person comes to you with any news, ascertain the truth, lest you harm people unwittingly and afterwards become full of repentance for what you have done. (49:6). This highlights the importance of verifying information before acting on it and avoiding spreading false information, which can lead to harm and have negative consequences.
Spreading false information is considered a form of sin and could lead to severe punishments in the afterlife. Misinformation leads to direct harm to people’s physical health to influencing political outcomes, erodes trust in each other and adversly affects society and institutions. We need to be aware of misinformation to teach our youth and elderly on how to spot and analyze misinformation.


Why is this important? It goes against the principles of truthfulness, justice, and accountability that are central to Deen-al-Islam. All actions – including speech are held to a high standard and must align with moral and ethical teachings of the religion. That is why the Qur’an instructs Muslims to verify information before acting on it, to avoid spreading false information that can lead to harm, and to avoid engaging in sinful behavior. Furthermore, Islamic tradition holds that spreading false information is considered a form of sin and could lead to severe punishments in the afterlife.

How to be a solution and not the problem!

  1. Before spreading information, verify its accuracy and authenticity from reliable sources.
  2. Refrain from spreading information that is sensational or dramatic, as this often leads to the spread of false information.
  3. Analyze and evaluate the information before accepting and sharing it. 
  4. Educate and encourage others to verify information before accepting and spreading information.
  5. Do not knowingly spread false information or take part in spreading rumors.
  6. Seek knowledge and understanding of the teachings of Islam, which emphasize the importance of avoiding spreading false information.
  7. If one has knowingly or unknowingly spread false information, it is important to seek forgiveness and make a conscious effort to avoid repeating the same mistake.
  8. Better yet, if it does not concern you, stay away from it!

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

February 9, 2023
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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Turkish Earthquake — Humanitarian Response

The aftermath of an earthquake can be devastating for those affected, leaving many without homes and loved ones struggling to survive in the face of severe cold and limited resources. Despite the best efforts of volunteers, relief efforts have been hampered by the harsh conditions, and some have been left to die, their cries echoing in the aftermath of the disaster.

In some areas near the crises, buildings have been wiped out, taking with them generations of families and leaving many feeling like they have nothing left to live for. Yet, amidst the tragedy, there are glimmers of hope, such as the rescue of a young child, which gives the community a renewed sense of purpose and motivation to continue the relief efforts.

However, the response of the international community has been criticized, with some accusing the mixing of politics with humanitarian aid and delivering aid at a slow pace. Trucks carrying supplies have finally started to arrive, but for some locals it is too little too late, with some even resorting to breaking into stores for basic food after being stranded for 40 hours without help.

The sense of frustration and disappointment can be felt throughout the community and by Muslims all over, with many questioning the lack of support from the world once again, and even from their own neighbors. Yet, despite the hardships and the feeling of being left behind, some find solace in their faith, with one woman saying, “God, I am waiting for your help. God I still trust in you.” And as the relief workers begin to tire and feel as though they can no longer go on, the sound of one more survivor being rescued gives them the strength to continue their efforts and do more.

As the Qur’an says, “We will test you with fear, hunger, and loss of wealth, life, and crops. But give glad tidings to those who are patient” (2:155). And according to the Hadith narrated by Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him), “Verily, Allah will aid a servant so long as the servant aids their fellow brother/sister.” The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also said, “S/he is not a believer who eats their fill while the neighbor goes hungry.” These verses and teachings emphasize the importance of helping those in need and being there for one another, especially in times of crisis.

The world must come together to respond to the needs of those affected by disasters like earthquakes. The international community should prioritize providing humanitarian aid and support, leaving politics aside and focusing on the needs of the people. From a religious perspective, both the Qur’an and the Hadith emphasize the importance of helping those in need and showing compassion to others, regardless of their background or beliefs. Some verses from the Qur’an that highlight the importance of helping others include:

  • And do good; indeed, Allah loves the doers of good. (2:195)
  • And whatever good you put forward for yourselves – you will find it with Allah. Indeed, Allah of what you do, is Seeing. (2:110)
  • And let there be [arising] from you a nation inviting to [all that is] good, enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong, and those will be the successful. (3:104)

Humanitarian aid should be provided with the goal of alleviating suffering and improving the lives of those in need, rather than being driven by personal or financial gain. Humanitarian agencies must work together and put aside any personal interests in order to provide the most effective support possible.

We ask Allah (SWT) to make it easy for all those undergoing hardships of all types, Ameen.

Jazakallah Khair

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

February 8, 2023
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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Balancing Religion and the world around you — be no stranger

Our religion is family oriented and somewhere along the way we are starting to see a slippage in this practice. It is our responsibility as Muslim parents and educators to support and guide our youth in navigating the challenges they face. The Quran and Hadith emphasize the importance of spiritual as well as mental and physical well-being and the impact it has on our spiritual journey. Ignoring the struggles faced by our youth can lead to dire consequences, both for them and for our community. It is not that we ignore them, it is the way in which we address them remains against our best interest. Islam requires us to take proactive steps to address these issues, in the process ensuring the happiness and success of our future generations. By relying on the wisdom and guidance of the Divine, we can support our youth and prevent their struggles from turning into disasters.

Both religious and secular approaches to addressing the issues facing youth can be important because they offer different benefits and perspectives.

Religious approaches provide comfort, hope, and a sense of purpose to youth who are struggling. They offer a way to connect with a Higher Power and a community of like-minded individuals who can provide support and guidance. Additionally, religious practices can help youth regulate their emotions and improve their overall well-being.

Secular approaches provide access to mental health services and resources, as well as education and support for individuals, families, and communities. Secular approaches are often informed by scientific research and can help youth understand and manage their mental health in a practical, actionable way. One way should not take away from the other, they should complement each other, with this in mind, sometimes chemical, social etc imbalances impact what we are going through.

Both religious and secular approaches have the potential to make a positive impact on youth, and different individuals may find one approach to be more helpful than the other depending on their needs, beliefs, and experiences. By providing access to a range of resources and support, we empower youth to make informed choices about their well-being and find the approach that works best for them.

It’s important to recognize that individuals may hold different beliefs and perspectives, and that both religious and secular ways must be used to complement each other without ever letting go of core religious principles, for doing so can create more harm for our youth. By working together and respecting each other’s views, we can create a supportive environment that helps youth thrive.

Religious Approaches religious centers should look more into is as follows:

  1. Encouraging youth to turn to listening to the Quran, prayer and other practices for comfort and support.
  2. Providing religious education and guidance to help youth understand and navigate their challenges.
  3. Fostering a supportive community where youth can find comfort and guidance from their faith leaders and peers without judgement.
  4. Encouraging the practice of compassion and kindness towards others, as these are central tenets of our religious tradition.

Secular Approaches:

  1. Providing access to mental health services and resources, such as therapy, counseling, and support groups.
  2. Implementing evidence-based programs in schools and other youth-serving organizations to promote positive mental health and well-being.
  3. Fostering a supportive and inclusive community where youth feel valued and respected.
  4. Encouraging open and honest conversations about mental health and well-being to reduce stigma and increase awareness.

Under ideal conditions, both religious and secular approaches should go hand in hand and have in them the potential to support and empower youth and give them direction. The important thing is to listen to the needs of young people and provide the resources and support they need to thrive in this world for a Supreme Hereafter.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

February 7, 2023
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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Save yourself from a burnout and blow out

Muslims and other minority groups often face challenges, including discrimination and uncertainty on multiple levels. Being viewed as such leads to lots of unwanted issues as noted by viewers. This added stress can lead to burnout and discontent. To tackle these issues, a culture of wellness must be cultivated, valuing well-being on both individual and organizational levels. This can be achieved through reducing distractions, promoting self regulation while fostering collaboration with those around that share our values. Aligning your Muslimness with short and long-term goals with loved ones and receiving while giving support can prevent burnout and its negative devestating impact, while also improving spiritual satisfaction and saving adverse impact to your imaan. To succeed in avoiding burnout, small steps, genuine effort, and commitment are essential.

The Qur’an reminds us to seek help through patience and prayer, as it is a difficult journey except for the most concerned. Gratitude is also emphasized, as it leads to increased favor from Allah (SWT). Despite the hardships, the Qur’an reminds us that after every difficulty comes ease. 

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

February 6, 2023
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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Multiplier Outcomes to beat Stagnation

From an Islamic point of view, multiplying the value of each person within the family is important because it helps to fulfill the purpose of human life, which is to worship Allah and live in accordance with His commands. By nurturing the spiritual, moral, and intellectual development of children, parents can help their children to become strong, confident, and virtuous individuals who are able to make a positive impact in the world.

In Islam, family is seen as the foundation of society and the primary source of support and guidance for children. By ensuring that each member of the family is able to reach their full potential, the family can become a source of strength, stability, and support for the wider community.

In addition, by instilling Islamic values and teachings, such as compassion, forgiveness, and respect for others, children can develop into individuals who embody these values and contribute to a more harmonious and just society. This helps to further the broader Islamic goal of creating a society based on justice, equality, and compassion.

Therefore, from an Islamic point of view, multiplying the value of each person within the family is essential for the individual, the family, and the wider community, as it helps to fulfill the purpose of human life and create a better world for all.

Here are some steps that parents can take to exponentially develop the family framework:

-Islamic education: Encourage children to learn Allah (SWT) and Rasool (SAW) and practice what they have learnt, including regular attendance at mosque, reading the Quran, and learning about Islamic teachings and history.

-Good manners and behavior: Teach children good manners and ethical behavior in line with Islamic teachings, such as honesty, kindness, and respect for others.

-Moral values: Instill moral values such as compassion, generosity, and gratitude, which are central to the Islamic faith.

-Community involvement: Encourage children to be active members within community and participate in volunteer work.

-Role models: Provide positive role models, such as community leaders and scholars who embody Islamic values and teachings in a loving manner.

-Du’a (prayer): Encourage children to make Du’a (prayer) regularly and seek Allah’s guidance and blessings in all aspects of their lives.

-Mercy and forgiveness: Teach children the importance of showing mercy and forgiveness, which are central to Deen.

By incorporating these steps into their parenting, parents can help their children develop into well-rounded individuals who are able to reach their full potential, both materially and spiritually.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

February 5, 2023
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
2 Comments

Overcome your challenges

We all are facing challenges in being our best. Our fast-paced enviroments coupled with the complex nature of our society has made it increasingly difficult to maintain a strong sense of morality and ethics as well as an Muslim ideal identity. The constant exposure to conflicting values and beliefs along with the pressures of life makes it difficult to prioritize moral and ethical behavior. Additionally, there are many societal and individual factors that can lead to moral and ethical decline, such as corruption, greed, and a lack of accountability.

Being a good person is essential for pleasing Allah (SWT). Building positive relationships and promoting social harmony helps in producing a healthy society. These qualities are valued by many cultures and religions. For Muslims, the emphasis on being a good person is rooted in the belief that living according to Allah’s  (SWT) teachings is the ultimate goal of human existence.

To achieve good, moral, and ethical behavior, Muslims must strive to follow the teachings of the Rasool (SAW) as a model for ethical behavior and to treat others with respect, fairness, and kindness. This can be achieved through consistent practice of prayer and other religious duties, reading and studying the Quran, and participating in community activities that promote positive values and behaviors.

One way to achieve this is by practicing the often lost art of self-reflection and seeking guidance from trusted sources such as religiously inclined leaders or community members that can help us maintain a focus on ethical and moral character. Surrounding oneself with positive role models and engaging in activities that promote personal growth and spritual development can also contribute to the outcome and development of good behaviors.

Being a good, moral, and ethical person is essential for pleasing Allah (SWT); building positive relationships, and promoting social harmony is also essential for our existence. To achieve this, Muslims must strive to follow the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (SWT), treat others with kindness and respect, and engage in activities that promote such growth and development. It is worth it, InshaAllah!

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

January 30, 2023
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
0 comments

Parental conflict and children’s spirituality

The upholder of kinship is not the one who is kind to them if they are kind to him; rather, the upholder of kinship is the one who upholds the kinship with them even if his relatives cut him off. (Bukhari.)

Parental conflict has significant impact on a child’s Islamic development and Muslim identity. Children exposed to high levels of conflict between parents, it causes stress and instability within the home environment, leading to decreased trust in relationships, including their relationship with a Higher Power, and lower self-esteem. This can also cause confusion about healthy relationships and lead to a distorted view of love and spirituality.

Studies have shown that parental conflict can have a range of negative effects on children’s overall well-being, including increased anxiety and depression, impairment of social skills, difficulty regulating emotions, decreased academic performance, and poor physical health. The impact of parental conflict on children can vary depending on several factors, including the severity and frequency of the conflict, the child’s age and developmental stage, and the presence of supportive adults in the child’s life.

To minimize the negative impact of conflict on children, parents can take the following steps:

  1. If conflict between parents is frequent or intense, under ideal conditions seek the assistance of an experienced and practicing Muslim therapist or counselor to help improve communication and resolve issues. 
  2. Parents should prioritize the needs and well-being of their children and avoid involving them in the conflict. This is aimed to help children feel secure and reduce the emotional toll of the conflict.
  3. Parents can demonstrate healthy communication and conflict resolution skills, thus leading by example. Children who see their parents resolve conflicts in a respectful and effective manner are more likely to adopt these skills themselves.
  4. Parents can create a supportive and stable home environment by promoting positive relationships, spending quality time together, and offering love and understanding. This can help children feel secure and develop a positive sense of self.
  5. Children can benefit from having supportive adults in their lives that are experienced in helping reform children. Such persons should provide a positive influence and serve as a source of comfort and support.
  6. Parents can support their children’s spiritual growth by encouraging them to participate in religious activities from a very young age, have open and honest conversations about spirituality, and modeling a positive spiritual life. This can help children develop a strong connection with both – parents and their faith.

Parents can also support their children’s Islamic development by modeling positive spiritual beliefs and practices, encouraging participation in religious activities, having open and honest conversations about spirituality, fostering a sense of community, promoting values such as love, kindness, and compassion, and encouraging personal reflection and introspection.

Last but not least, parental conflict can have a significant impact on a child’s spiritual development. However, parents can take steps to minimize the negative impact and promote their children’s spiritual growth by seeking outside help, putting the children first, modeling healthy conflict resolution, fostering a supportive and stable home environment, encouraging outside support, and promoting spiritual development. It’s important for parents to be respectful and accepting of their children’s spiritual beliefs and to provide a supportive environment for their spiritual growth.

Life may never be perfect for our children or for parents, yet it is part of parental duty to aim in getting to perfection to the best of their ability.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.