Q.

Assalamu Alaykum,

Imaam you talk about forgiveness but sometimes asking for forgiveness is not an easy thing to do. How can a person put aside their pride and ask for forgiveness? A person is afraid to be ridiculed. And you also said that if the person does not want to forgive you, give them whatever they want. What if the person does not want to accept anything? Are we suppose to live in a state of guilt for the rest of our lives?

Answer:

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• Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) mentions the significance of  forgiveness, Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) outlines its methods, so did other prophets (Peace be upon them all). Forgiveness lightens the heart and gains closeness to Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala)
• It is not easy to forgive for we sometimes become arrogant regarding our position. We refuse to see the other side of the matter. It becomes a control issue for many. Once we let go of this unhealthy part of our ego, it becomes easy to forgive
• We should not expect others to forgive us. This mentality would keep us vigilant of our actions
• A person has the right not to forgive you. That is something we should think about before we commit an act of incorrectness, aggression, etc.
• The fear of being ridiculed is from the assistance of shaytan and the unhealthy ego. That is why shaytan did not do as commanded. Thus, never fear to be ridiculed in this world. It’s better to be ridiculed in this world then the hereafter
• Forgiveness softens the heart and reduces unwanted baggage
• You do your task by asking the one you acted out against for forgiveness. Thereafter do whatever is legal and within your control and right to gain the forgiveness. To the one that refuses to forgive you, leave the matter to Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala). The fact you did this would Insha-Allah gain you peace and comfort, Allah-Willing, Ameen

Allah Certainly Knows Best