Question: I am a single woman. I am told that I need to contact my local imam to be my wali by (name withheld.) I did contact my local mosque and they said that they do not offer such services, what do we single woman that want to get married do? (name withheld) told my nikah would be invalid.
Answer: The number of individuals who misunderstand or misrepresent this issue never ceases to amaze. Particularly concerning is the cherry-picking of the Hadith: “There is no Nikah without a Wali and the nikah would be invalid” and the consistent misrepresentation of its meaning and intent is astounding.
- First and foremost, let us acknowledge that we are not living under ‘Sharia law’ in the USA, and as far as the rest of the world goes, if religious values mean anything, more nonmuslim countries adhere to ‘islamic principles’ than even majority of current Muslim countries. In this context, individuals—upon reaching maturity—have the right to make informed decisions about whom they wish to marry. While it is not advisable for either men or women to rush into marriage impulsively, we must recognize that, if someone has conducted due diligence and found a compatible partner, the role of an imam or community leader is limited to offering advice and guidance.
An imam or masjid official cannot assume the role of a wali (guardian) in the truest sense. The term wali inherently implies being a legal guardian—a person who takes on responsibilities before, during, and after the marriage, particularly in situations of conflict. This is a position that requires accountability and active involvement in the individual’s well-being.
From a strictly religious perspective, since this is a religious inquiry, we must ask: where in America would we find such ‘guardians’ capable of fulfilling these responsibilities? It’s essential to contextualize these discussions within our legal and cultural framework while respecting the essence of Islamic teachings. Should a scholar/imam/board wish to take on this liability, may Allah (SWT) take them from ‘strength to strength’ in fulfilling this goal.
- To address the challenges surrounding the concept of a wali in non-Sharia environments like the United States, a balanced and practical approach is needed. First, there must be a concerted effort to educate the community on the true role of a wali in Islam—someone who acts as a supporter and advocate, not a dictator. Misconceptions need to be clarified, emphasizing that while the wali safeguards rights and ensures compatibility, personal choice and autonomy remain paramount. Where traditional family guardians are absent or unwilling, trusted relatives, respected community elders, or imams can step in as advisors, offering guidance while respecting individual decisions. Establishing Wali Committees within masjids—comprising knowledgeable and trusted individuals—can provide structured support by assessing compatibility, offering premarital counseling, and ensuring Islamic processes are upheld. This framework would be particularly beneficial for women who lack a wali, such as reverts or those estranged from their families, offering them representation and protection without undermining their agency.
Additionally, individuals are encouraged to take personal responsibility in choosing a spouse wisely by conducting due diligence—assessing character, compatibility, and deen—while consulting trusted family members, mentors, or religious advisors about the Nikah process. Written agreements can also play a role in defining mutual responsibilities and Islamic obligations, ensuring transparency in the marital process. For legal purposes, appointing representatives during civil marriages or utilizing prenuptial agreements can help uphold Islamic values within the constraints of local laws. Ultimately, marriage should not be viewed as a purely private matter but as a communal effort, where families, elders, and the broader Muslim community collaborate to ensure harmony, transparency, and accountability. By combining education, community support systems, and personal responsibility, we can uphold the principles of Islam while navigating the realities of our legal and cultural environment. This balanced approach protects individual rights, honors Islamic teachings, and facilitates marriages rooted in mutual understanding and respect — also forms a balance between local laws and the ‘Sharia.’ Until we reach this point, I suggest seeking support from religious organizations such as ICNA, ISNA, and similar bodies, as they can play a vital role in providing guidance and assistance. At this time, our help is limited to supporting you in the decision-making process.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.