Q: My mother is rude and mean to my wife abd she even admits it. My mother had it hard when she got married. She feels my wife got things to easy. My mother said last night that my daughterinlaw is good to me I just don’t know why im mean to her. My sisters do not cook and clean but my wife cleans the whole house and my sisters rooms and cooks for everyone and they just sit and watch her. My wife has not compliained at all. This has been going on for 3 half years. I am educated and make good money. My wife has a masters in chemistry and she wants to make my family happy. Im writing this because for the past week she has been crying lots in tahajud prayer and I feel I should do something about it. Thanks Salams

A: I am glad you are not seemingly taking sides and you are seeing things for that which they are. I admire your wanting to do good for your wife. She is your responsibility and Alhamdulillah you seem to want to put things right. May Allah (SWT) assist you, ameen.

• It is often difficult to accept others as part of our own. It is more difficult to see a person having a good time or ease in their lives when we may have had it difficult. Thus, it may hurt to hear this; your family needs to learn respect and responsibility towards those that enter into the family. Good behavior is learned, thus for starters, after fajr and magrib have your family read from books that stress the value of respecting others.  There are many good books that make mention the lives of male and female companions of the Prophet (SAW), their sacrifice, etc. A simple book that comes to mind is fazaili a’mal, fazaili sadaqaat and Ryazus-saleheen. These books outline the virtue of doing simple yet good things, additionally these books assist and motivate people in the right direction.
• If things do not come right, it is your duty to award your wife her necessary safety and security. Get her a place away from your family and allow her to live in peace and comfort. She should be allowed to visit your family; however, it should be done with mutual respect, love and compassion. Your duty is to take care of your biological family, but not at the expense of your wife.

May Allah (SWT) reward her for her patience and good actions. On behalf of myself and the readers we also ask for her prayers during the Tahajud paryers.  May Allah (SWT) reward you for seeking positive change as well, ameen.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.