Q: Assalmualaikum
My son has choosen a muslim girl for his life partner. She is different race and culture from us and also family background of lower education.
As the mother, I would like to have a wife for him- 1.muslim religious girl -[seem to be alright for this point] 2. prefer to be same race and culture 3. similar educational level of her and family. . . .the reason being -wise in caring/raising the children and managing the family affairs are important.
We have a muslim girl from same race, culture, and good edu background -to whom we prefer.
How should we tell/guide -[we don’t want to force]- we want him to see our [preferred] girl and decide. Since both are muslim- but we prefer higher edu background and more decent [not to say rich].
A mother who wish the best for her son
Time: August 12, 2013 at 12:20 AM
A: Walaikumsalam,
Parents always want the best for their children. Parents too must realize that we are living in a more spiritually challenged world. While you want the best for your child, it must not happen he marries your choice and later continues to chase his choice, making a mess of your choice and possibly his choice.
As a mother, your wants are correct and within the parameters of the religion and very much admirable.
Have him communicate with both women through an appropriate 3rd party. Do not rush the process. Ask him to be open an objective as to what he is seeking in a spouse. Explain to him your family-preferred requirements as well. As a mother it’s not easy to support a possible poor choice. However, it is also your duty to assist him in making a choice that would not hurt him or the family as well as his religion. In the end, even if these choices do not work out, it is better to wait for the correct choice the live in misery. Your son must be re-informed that marriage is about happiness, and he must also once again informed about the value of good decision making as it relates to family.
Your approach is very mature and appropriate. You seem like a great parent and I hope your child would make a decision that would allow each of you to be proud, insha-allah, Ameen.
Allah certainly Knows Best.