Q: I am starting to hate people.  I worked for a muslim boss. i used to work 10 hors a day 6 dys a week. Never got a penny over time. Got married. Wife shopped everyday.  I was in debt 19 000 in 2 years of marraige from department stores.  When i stopped her from shopping she filed for divorce and called me cheap.  I stopped going to musjid. my donation was 2500 per year and was told others give 10 000 a year and i must increase to get more from Allah.  i stopped meeting muslims. Nonmuslmes pay me better. demand less.  nonmuslims are more honest and nice to me. I want to live a clean and pure lif with my brothers and sisters.  Please please help to stop hating people and change my life. Salams

A: Alhamdulillah you are seeking positive change.  Being hurt sometimes makes us hurt others or sometimes ourselves.  Look into the mirror and ask yourself the following:

Have i ever lied? Have i ever been mean to anyone? Did i ever forget to pray? Did i ever not give my zakat on time? Did i ever not help a poor person, even though i could have very well done so? Do i read the Quran when i have extra time on my hands, etc. As humans we do wrong all the time. Yet we waste our valuable time and energy focusing on others.

After recognizing your weaknesses, realize that regardless of the violations you have committed against Allah and/or wrongs against humanity, Allah (SWT) and people have still been kind to you. So it should be your duty to be nice to others despite their occasional wrongs towards you. Human value increases when a person continues doing good to those that have been not so good to them.

Also realize that despite a person being viewed as ‘bad’ in your eyes, that ‘bad’ person may have done some good that Allah (SWT) has liked, and therefore has given them more grace. It could also be that Allah (SWT) lets them get away with evil, when He is ready to snatch away His Grace from them, He will deal with them as He wishers. Your duty is to be your best. The wrongs of others does not give you the right to be mean. For being mean to others is actually being mean to yourself. To live in such misery is not worth the time and energy for a believer.

I appreciate your query, may Allah (SWT) make both of us in better and more positive human beings, Ameen.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.