Q. I am trying hard to be a better Muslim. I converted to Islam 3 years ago. I have three small children. I am aware that Muslims must follow their faith and let others follow whatever they wish to follow. I do not impose the Islamic holidays of Eid on my non-Muslim subordinates. However, the prevalence of Christmas and the holidays that surround them are so many and held as so significant to the majority that I sometimes get caught up in its cycle.

A. We sincerely appreciate your question. We have received many like it. Being apart of America,  we share the ambivalence and sentiments of those wanting a response to festivities of the west in the west. We often wonder, how do we share a common culture, common goals and be loyal to our faith and yet be different while calling ourselves American Muslims. This is the beauty of America; we can ask such questions and find solutions together regarding that which concerns us most. More importantly for our youth, how do we convey to them that we are part of America, and its fine to have separate holidays?

Thus, it is fair to say, the fun-filled holiday season poses anguish for Muslims and non-Muslims who do not wish to be part of its ‘grace’ for reasons of religiosity and beyond. Such festive moments, rather than soothing and comforting people, often pose a threat to those refusing to be part of the status quo. Be this in the form of attending Christmas parties, not contributing to petty cash funds that solicits aid to appease manages with trivial gifts, or wearing a tie filled with red and green light bulbs. Muslims and non-Muslims do realize that these ‘comforting action strategies’ are not premature and without consequences. They exist for a better work image; have an effect on one’s promotion, etc. Thus, Muslims want to understand the role that secular holidays have in their lives, and how to react when faced with Thanksgiving, Christmas or the celebration resulting in the start of the New Year.

First things first: Muslims must acknowledge that they have chosen to live as Muslims. Their choices are not merely as a result of an educated decision-making process, but out of a personal conviction and religious choice. Sayyidina ‘Umar bin Al-Khattab (radiAllahu anh) reports that:

“Once a Jew said to me, “O the chief of believers! There is a verse in your Holy Book which is read by all of you (Muslims), and had it been revealed to us, we would have taken that day (on which it was revealed) as a day of celebration.” Sayyidina ‘Umar bin Al-Khattab (radiAllahu anh) asked the man, “Which is that verse?” The Jew replied, “This day I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favor upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.” (5:3) Sayyidina ‘Umar (radiAllahu anh) replied, “No doubt, we know when and where this verse was revealed to the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) . It was Friday and the Prophet was standing at ‘Arafat’ (i.e. the Day of Hajj).” Bukhari: Volume 1, Book 2, number 43.

It is no wonder that when Nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) saw a group of Muslims celebrating a non-Islamic holiday, he disapproved and kindly explained to the Muslims that Allah has given us two better days to be part of — the Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. This action of the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) thus places restrictions upon the celebrations that we can be voluntarily part of. For the Quran states:

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Oh you who believe, obey Allah and His Messenger (PBUH) and do not void out your (good) deeds (by following that which is incorrect.)

47:33

The above alone makes it is sufficient for Muslims to abandon notions of celebrating such holidays. Also to celebrate Christmas as a link to the birth date of Essa (alayhis salaam) is to slander a great Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) regarding the date of his birth. For not only was he (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) not born on this day, but to think he (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) was born on this day is to take part in deception. Something Islam forbids. Thus, not only would celebrating be wrong, but further, the sin of a false allegation would take place.

Is there an alternative for those who are residing in western countries? Especially those with children, it becomes a greater challenge when children are made to draw Christmas cards for parents, teachers, and the like. To allow children to create their own identity while being part of religion and society, we advocate a few well-thought out steps to advance their cause. As parents, if possible, vacations during this time of year should be preferred as opposed to other times of the year, so as to limit an empty feeling for our children. If Allah has made you among the fortunate, go for the Umrah or Hajj, (depending on the closeness between the Hijri and Gregorian calendar). Islamic centers (mosques) should be encouraged to have winter camp sessions, baking, crochet, knitting and exercise classes for interested youth. The ‘festive’ season should not become a time for moaning why we all differ, or cannot be part of ‘Christmas,’ but rather a time to focus on gaining community strength while using our time wisely.

Such measures minimize the sour pinch of the season, and replace our feelings with a set of productive and encouraged behaviors. For example, to help feel less ‘Christmissy,’ we should all remember that Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) mentioned to us that the worst place to attend is the market-place. An equivalent to that in today’s time are the malls. Stores live for Christmas, and to frequent them beyond necessity is to frustrate and further confuses our little ones.

That is why parents must take pride on the occasions of Eid. For those who have the means, give your families the best you can afford, take them out to some fun, and also let them see their privilege by handing out gifts to the less fortunate. Brighten the houses and fill the masjid during Ramadan and during the sacred days of Hajj. This way adult and the youth would feel the sprit and liveliness of Islam, and realize that Islam is not a mere religion of rules and regulations, but like all religions, we too have moments of clean, sober, hearty fun.

Allah certainly knows best.