by Ali Ibrahim

Over the last two weeks, we discussed our relationship with our parents as children in helpless infancy, and then as crafty teenagers entering true adulthood. One would think that as adults, our attitudes towards our parents would  evolve to a higher level of understanding, but it is too often true that such is not the case.  This week, we transition to the conclusion of our article, where we wrap up a few points you might have wondered about.

Throughout this entire discussion, subtly a point was being made: we only talked about the mother’s sacrifice for us…here is why: A man came to Rasulullah (??? ???? ???? ????) and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? Rasulullah (??? ???? ???? ????) said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ Rasulullah (??? ???? ???? ????) said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ Rasulullah (??? ???? ???? ????) said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ Rasulullah (??? ???? ???? ????) said: Then your father. Now we can understand the magnanimity of this hadith in-depth. Ah?dith and Ayahs are not to be taken by face value. Allah and His Messenger ??? ???? ???? ???? always have multiple reasons for saying a single sentence or verse.

We are only helping ourselves by being kind, respectful, and honoring our parents. Never mind the shame that we should all feel when we disobey our parents after all they have done throughout our lives, especially when we were young and vulnerable to the world. That is just an issue of common sense: “you scratch your back I scratch yours”…it’s funny how this principle is so hard to implement within our own families and with our own parents, but so easy with our friends and colleagues! Never mind that Allah is mentioning multiple ayahs like the one mentioned above regarding how to treat our parents. We all know that we do much more harm than a simple “Uff” towards them. Many of us use and abuse them on a daily basis with no remorse. Then we wonder why there is no peace and tranquility in our lives. Why is my spouse always fighting with me? Why are my kids so disobedient? Why do I not attain a higher level of peace in my prayer? Now we know why: what goes around comes around. This is Point 8.

If we want a life of Jannah not only in the next world but in this life, then logically, mentally, physically, emotionally, verbally, and spiritually, it makes sense to treat our parents to the best of our ability and knowing full well, that we can never ever pay them back for all that they have done for us, even if we gave a lifetime of service to them.

If we want barakah (blessings of Allah) in every aspect of our lives, whether it’s personal, professional, social, political, spiritual, etc. it is imperative that we create positive change in our lives…and it all starts with our homes. This is Point 9.

It is never too late to become better persons in our lives…especially with the unlimited mercy of Allah: where there is a will Allah provides a way. It is better to start today then before tomorrow, when our parents have passed away. There is no use weeping in front of a grave for a life that was wasted. “What-if-I-was-a-better-son/daughter” is something that we can continue to have remorse of…or it’s better to not live a life of not living. Therefore, if we belong in this final category, then we should adhere to the following advice: Abu Usaid Saidi (Radhiyallahu-Anhu) said: We were once sitting with Rasulullah (??? ???? ???? ????) when a man from the tribe of Salmah came and said to him: O Messenger of Allah! Do my parents have rights over me even after they have died? And Rasulullah (??? ???? ???? ????) said: Yes. You must pray to Allah to bless them with His Forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill the promises they made to anyone, and respect their relations and their friends.

We gave gone from the cradle to the grave, showing examples from each stage of our lives. Bottom-line: do good to others and they will do good to you. Do good to your parents and Allah will do good to you. May Allah (?????? ??????) enable all of us to preach what we practice and practice what we preach. Insha’Allah, we will be rewarded with a bounteous and peaceful life not only in this short life (Dunya), but in the Hereafter (Akhirah) for forever as well. Ameen.

(This article is cross-posted on the author’s website.)

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