Q: 1)Does islam allow for a woman to gain custody of a 13 year old boy after she remarries? 2)Is shared custody possible for a 6 year old boy and how would it take place? answer based on shawafee fiqh please (Email Date: February 3rd 2010)
A: 1)No.
However, if she marries a person who is also related to the child, then an allowance can be made in the best interest of the child. Once she remarries, she must be given the liberty to enjoy her ‘new’ life and the father must wake up to his role as father once the child matures and/or she remarries.
The child can choose when s/he becomes mature as to which parent they prefer to live with.
2)Yes. Child can live with father during the day to learn about how to become a man/male responsibilities. (Mow the lawn, fill up gas for the cars, male dominated chores, things normal men/boys do in a normal environment and normal household!) Same child can thereafter also spend time with the mother to gain sensitivity towards family structure for the remainder of the time. Boys need to learn differing roles to make them effective men of the future. Under these conditions shared responsibility can function effectively.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.
(General query, general response.)