Question: Asalamulaikom
This question is kind of confusing since it’s not even my question but a friends it will be hard to explain ( i myself don’t really get what she is asking) Can a woman set her own Mahar during marriage? The time she got engaged she did not even know what mahar was…but since it is the woman s right can she decide for her self, even after her engagement and when her mahar was decided by relatives. Can she change the amount of mahar? make it more or less? maybe even change the type of currency?

Time Sent: Tuesday June 16, 2009

Look before you leap

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May Allah reward you for your questions:
Q.1 Can a woman set her own Mahar during marriage?

A. A woman can set her mehr amount prior to the nikah. If the amount she chooses is too low, her wali (compassionate guardian) can make the appropriate changes.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

Q. 2 The time she got engaged she did not even know what mahar was…but since it is the woman s right can she decide for herself, even after her engagement and when her mahar was decided by relatives….

A. Ignorance of the law is not bliss. Being ignorant of her rights, more so when a woman is not  a minor at the time of marriage is not a valid excuse. Persons choosing marriage must be aware of their marital rights and obligations.  A woman not requesting what was her right does not give her the ability to negate or increase her mehr amount once she had agreed to its stipulated amount.

If her guardian took part in foul play to marry her off against her wishers, toyed with her mehr and its amount, then the matter would be different. The fact that relatives got together in deciding its amount for you shows that a discussion took place as to the fixing of the mehr. If a woman is old enough to get married, she is old enough to know her rights to an Islamic marriage.

Added to the above, Islam calls upon a woman to get married with her consent and the consent of her wali (compassionate guardian.)  As known, a wali is that person that has a brides best interest at heart. The wali must negotiate this amount and help her understand its significance. If the wali failed in this matter, he is to be held responsible. (poor guy cannot always be blamed!)

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

Q.3 Can she change the amount of mahar? Make it more or less?

A. Once an amount has been agreed upon, than that would be the fixed amount he must give his bride. If she so wishers, she can forgo all or part of it.  If she requests a greater amount to the one stipulated at the time of nikah, and the groom agrees to the new higher amount, then he would be bound by this new agreement.

Should a higher amount be agreed upon and a divorce took place prior to the consummation of nikah, he would be bound by the original contract which comprised of the lesser amount. Non-consummated marriages resulting in divorce also makes the agreed amount become half. E.g. 10 000 would become 5000. It is best to have all changes and transactions in writing.

According to Imaam Abu Hanifa, if she reduced the amount, the Wali (Compassionate guardian) can ask for an increase in her favor, more so if wali feels that she made an immature decision.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

Q.4 can the female) maybe even change the type of currency?

A. The groom would be held accountable to the currency they had agreed upon. Mehr is her money. She can convert the currency if she wishers once her mehr is received by her. If they alter this original agreement as to the place or country in which the money is to be received, that too would be allowed.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.