Question: I’ve met a arabic girl, who happens to be a muslim.  I have been exploring Islam.  The girl and myself have discussed marriage, but she said her mother would not consent because I am not arab.  The girl I am seeing says that without a mother’s consent the marriage is doomed.  I find this hard to believe but she said it is stated in the Koran.  Is this true, If I marry her the marriage would be cursed because the mother did not approve of me because i’m not arabic

Answer:

Parents generally know what is best for their children, more-so children that have never had prior marital relations. The matter must not confine or limit itself to the aspect of Arab, Indian, or Caucasian. The Islamic criteria of marriage in Islam are based upon religiosity, compatibility, etc.

You have not mentioned clearly as to the religion you have complied yourself towards. If you are a Muslim, then kindly refer to http://islaminaction.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/marriage-without-parental-consent as well as http://islaminaction.wordpress.com/2009/04/11/runaway-bride-or-is-it-groom for a greater understanding of the Islamic pulse relating to marriage.

By contrast, if you are not a Muslim, not only would this be an illicit relationship for a Muslimah, but it would also be a relationship that would not be sanctioned by Islam. Anything produced from such a relationship would be viewed as illegitimate in Islam. If you convert, the matter would be different.

The Quran does mention that one should be compliant to all (permissible) parental requests. Muslims believe that under normal circumstances, anyone failing to comply with a beneficial parental request would result in adverse consequences for the non-complying party. This is something general to all religions.

We are perplexed as to why a Muslimah would possibly communicate or place herself in a vulnerable position of having to defend her rejection towards a potential spouse. Had she complied to the religious request of not getting personal with a male, she would not have to place you in such an ambivalent situation of posing the above question. We recommend both of you learn the religion well; thereafter embark on the journey of marriage in a manner that would prove beneficial to parental requests as well as it fulfilling state and religious injunctions.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

p.s. take this matter to a local qualified scholar for greater understanding.