As Salaamu Alaikum..
What’s Islam’s Stance regarding Marital Rape? Is it illegal for a women to resist her husbands sexual advances in a Islamic State? If Yes, Why?
Jazakum Allah khayran
Answer:
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For healthy couples to decline a marital partner the satisfaction that an Islamic marriage ought to bring forth without a valid excuse would remain a sin. To use shared intimacy as a manipulative tool to gain control of particular situations would also be viewed as wrong. The idea of Islamic marriage is to create comfort and marital satisfaction for partners. Islam wants marital couples to be understanding of each another needs. Each partner must fulfill their needs in accordance to the comfort of each partner without violating religious injunctions.
Lacking intimacy for couples undergoing health related issues would remain valid grounds for withholding intimate adult relations. Under health related conditions, a decline of a spouse can take place; however, consummation while refused should be substituted with other permissible actions. This is part of fulfilling a spouses right. This principle applies to men and woman.
In a non-Muslim country, since it is a place we have chosen to live, we are also called upon to abide by its rules and regulations. If a spouse says no to an advance, it would be best to comply with such a appeal. If either partner feels deprived, it remains best that the neglected partner as well as the non-complying partner seek appropriate counseling. Should the matter not gain resolution via 3rd party professional intervention, nor can it be proven that health related matters remain the cause for non-shared intimacy, then Islam does give an option towards separation and divorce.
Raping partners would not be conducive at all to a healthy committed relationship.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.
p.s. The above answer would vary depending on the context and situation. We have answered the question in light of a non-Islamic state. A purely sharia based response would be futile. It is best the latter portion of your question be sent to a shaira court. It is highly probable that its response would be of limited benefit to you based on its practicality.