Q. Dear Imaam, I have fallen for a guy. I cannot let go. He is very handsome and has a good look which most of our community boys lack. He is not a daddy’s or mommy’s boy. It started out as a class project. Now we talk for about 2 to 3 hours every night. Something tells me I am doing the wrong thing. I have come to accept him as my brother and he has taken me as his sister. Is it permissible to have such a relationship with a non-mahram? My intentions are to refrain from anything beyond talking; at the MSA conference, it seemed liked some of the scholars are against this type of talking. What should I do?
A. According to our religion, it is prohibited for males and females who fall in the category of strangers to have the type of interaction you have outlined. Shaytan beautifies evil interactions for you (Ayah). Since he is like a brother to you, let us question if you talk to your blood brother, mother or father with such love and affection? It is amazing how we find strangers, turn them into brothers, but yet have issues with members of our families. Sister, in all honesty, you have been caught in the web of Shaytan. Shaytan has turned brothers into lovers of blood sisters and has caused people to fall into forbidden relationships. Shaytan has also turned strangers like you into believing that they are ‘brothers and sisters’ despite them being strangers. Plots of shaytan have resulted in devastating the institution of family. ‘Shaytan is your enemy, and take him as such,’ (Ayah.) This is the plot of Shaytan, who is trying to create havoc in your life, his aim is to ruin your present and future. Allah loves you, and thus He has made you ask this question, so you can be among the guided.
Also my sister, it is natural for healthy, normal people to be inclined towards each other. Such relationships usually start with good ‘friendly intentions’ but later results in an unwanted romantic tangle. Do the right thing. Unless you both intend to take this matter to your parents for the evaluation of marriage, dissolve this relationship and stay focused on your studies. We need people like you to make a healthy contribution to society, not an unhealthy contribution to the whispers of wrong!
(Between us, until the time you are ready for marriage (nikah), keep away from that which would continue to waste 2 to 3 hours of your blessed time!)
Allah certainly knows best.
