Q. A scholar was talking about grave innovations and he mentioned that we cannot recite any Qur’an while burying the deceased, cannot have tombstones with symbols or names on them (not even the name of the person who passed away) and says that doing these innovations is completely haraam and therefore detrimental to a Muslim’s spiritual well-being.
But every time someone passes away here, we do all of the above so is that really wrong to do?
Also he said that we can’t have a gathering where people recite Qur’an on behalf of the deceased which we also do.
Please advise.
A. To do some of the above voluntarily would be wrong. To abide by local ordinances would be correct, so long as it does not violate the key tenants of our religion. For example, to have an identification system like that of a tombstone is not ‘haraam,’ when required by local laws.
To recite prescribed portions of the Quran by the head and feet once the body has been placed in the grave is part of sunnah.
To recite Quran is only ‘haraam,’ if the person is reciting to a dead person. We are only allowed to recite Quran for Allah, and seek reward from Him. To gather people without pressuring them to attend such gatherings, nor to make a public weep to uphold such ‘cultural traditions’ is permissible. To insist people attend at a particular venue, partake in givens foods etc. is not allowed. However, if people do happen to be present, feeding them out of politeness would be allowed, so long as the food is not viewed as an expectation.
The intention of feeding should not be to feed for the ‘dead’ either. The monies of feeding cannot be deducted from the inheritance of the deceased.
The scholar is correct to say the following: worshiping the grave or praying to the dead is haram (forbidden).
To make dua at the grave site with the intent that we are praying to Allah for those that have passed away is most correct.
Under ideal conditions, one should make the dua for all those that have passed away. Persons making the dua should try and not face the grave, so as to not be accused of resembling those that take part in grave worship.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.