Asalamualikum, Br xxxxx:
I appreciate your inquiry. Islam, like any belief system is nuanced and complex, and simplistic answers often fall short. While I can offer an overview to help the individual understand Muslim beliefs, I strongly encourage him to engage in personal conversations with scholars of religion for a deeper understanding. It’s crucial to approach these discussions with an open mind and a willingness to explore the complexities of faith.

The questions touch on common criticisms or misconceptions about Islam. The issues mentioned, such as the marriage of Zainab (RA), the context of actions attributed to the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and the treatment of prisoners of war are often used as buzzwords or critiques on Islam without delving into the context or the teachings of Islam as a whole.

It’s important to delve deeper into these topics and not to dismiss them based on surface-level criticisms. By seeking knowledge and understanding, we can move beyond misconceptions and appreciate the depth and wisdom of Islamic teachings. In advance I thank your friend for these questions.

Q1  it looks like the prophet Muhammad did a few things that go against the Quran. Example: he married Zainab without a witness, he led offensive wars, he had more than 4 wives at the time of his death, in the Invasion of the Banu Qurayza he killed all the men (people of the book, not pagans) and enslaved the women and children. Why would that happen? Is he supposed to be the ideal man or leader? If he spent so much time with Gabriel, it’s hard for me to understand that he would do such things. Why would he be allowed or given special circumstances against God’s word, if that’s the case?
Answer 1: The actions of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) are often misunderstood or misinterpreted, leading to confusion and criticism. Here are some points to consider:
-Marriage to Zainab: The marriage to Zainab bint Jahsh was a unique case that actually upheld Quranic principles. At that time, adoption was common in Arab culture, and Zainab was originally married to Zaid ibn Harithah who was considered the Prophet’s adopted son. However, Islam changed the concept of adoption to maintain lineage integrity. Also when Zainab and Zaid eventually divorced, this marriage also implied strongly, despite Zaid’s close relationship to the prophet (PBUH), he was in no way biologically related to either of them as per religious criteria. The Prophet’s marriage to Zainab served as an example to abolish the pre-Islamic notions of adoption.

-Regarding ‘offensive wars,’ it’s important to understand that the wars led by the Prophet of Islam were primarily defensive in nature, aimed at protecting the Muslim community from aggression and persecution. The Qur’an permits fighting in self-defense, stating, “Permission to fight is given to those who are fought against because they have been wronged” (Qur’an 22:39). The emphasis is on the restoration of justice and the protection of basic human rights. We all would agree, when attacked, one cannot be a coward and let its citizens be in for a slaughter.

Islam, like other comprehensive systems, provides guidance on both peace and war. The Qur’an emphasizes the importance of peace, stating, “Fight in the way of Allah against those who fight against you, but begin not hostilities. Lo! Allah loveth not aggressors” (Qur’an 2:190). It also highlights the value of reconciliation and forgiveness, encouraging Muslims to “repel evil with that which is better” (Qur’an 41:34).

-The concept of defensive warfare in Islam is rooted in the principle of self-preservation and the protection of basic human rights. It is seen as a last resort when all peaceful means of resolving conflicts have been exhausted. The ultimate goal of such defensive wars is to establish justice and ensure the freedom of worship for all people, regardless of their faith.

-The Prophet’s multiple marriages were often strategic, serving purposes such as fostering diplomatic ties, caring for widows, and setting an example. They were not driven by mere lust. Historical records indicate that most of his wives were either widowed or divorced. In modern times, men often seek partners who meet different criteria than those sought by the Prophet, indicating that his marriages were more about bridging communities than about casual relationships.

-The incident involving the Banu Qurayza tribe, though tragic, was a response to their betrayal during a time of war. The punishment meted out to them was in accordance with the prevailing laws of war, which often included harsh measures against those deemed to have committed treachery. Similar incidents can be found in the history of many societies engaged in conflict.

Despite the severity of the punishment, Islamic teachings emphasize kindness and justice, even in the treatment of prisoners of war. The Qur’an instructs believers to fulfill their covenants and promises and to be just even when dealing with enemies (Qur’an 76:8-9). This demonstrates that while the event with the Banu Qurayza may seem harsh by today’s standards, it was a reflection of the norms of warfare at the time rather than a deviation from Islamic principles. Even in warfare, things must be proportionate. As noted, this was awarded to the citizens — woman and children, etc. They were not starved, killed, etc. Once taken, they were given their rights as prevalent at the time in full. Historians would also testify to this.

-Regarding the Prophet spending time with Gabriel, it’s important to clarify that Gabriel’s role was to deliver messages from God to the Prophet, not to engage in casual conversation. Gabriel’s task was to convey divine revelations and he did so faithfully without personal interaction or influence. The Prophet Muhammad’s actions were guided by his understanding of these revelations and his role as a leader, and they were in accordance with the teachings of Islam.

Q2: Jesus in the Quran looks like he was the perfect Muslim – he obeyed God completely and didn’t break any of his rules. Is he the ideal example of a Muslim? Is he considered equal to, less than, or more than the prophet Muhammad?
Answer 2:

-In Islam, Jesus (Isa in Arabic) is highly revered and viewed as one of the greatest prophets, along with other prophets such as Moses, Noah, Abraham, and many others. Each prophet had a specific mission and role in conveying the message of monotheism and guiding their respective communities. Things are not seen as either Him or Him. For us, they both have a special position, including the Virgin Mary.

-While Jesus (pbuh) is revered for his obedience to God and his exemplary life, Muslims believe that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) holds a unique and special position as the final messenger and seal of the prophets. Prophet Muhammad’s mission encompassed not only delivering the message of Islam but also completing and perfecting the guidance for all of humanity. We also follow what Jesus said for us to follow:  And remember Jesus, the son of Mary, said: O children of Israel! I am the Apostle of God sent to you confirming the Torah, which came before me, and giving Glad Tidings of an Apostle to come after me, whose name shall be Ahmad (the other name for Mohammad). But when he came to them with Clear Signs, they said: this is evident sorcery. (61:6)

-While Jesus (pbuh) is considered a perfect example of submission to God’s will and a model of piety and devotion, his role differs from that of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Jesus’ teachings were directed at his specific time and people, while Prophet Muhammad’s message is universal and timeless, applicable to all people and all times.

-Muslims believe that Prophet Muhammad’s teachings and guidance encompass all aspects of life, including spiritual, moral, social, and legal matters, making him the ideal example for Muslims to emulate. While Jesus is revered and respected, his status is seen as one of the mightiest prophets, whereas Prophet Muhammad is regarded as the final and most comprehensive example for all of humanity.

Q3:- why would the Quran have stories about Muhammad’s life, if the Quran was given by the angel Gabriel? It doesn’t make sense that the angel would give Muhammad a story of his own life to include in the Quran. (I’m sure there’s a good explanation here – I guess I want to know what specifically the Angel Gabriel revealed in the Quran)  
Answer 3: The Quran doesn’t simply narrate stories of the prophets; it offers profound lessons through their experiences within specific contexts. The story of Prophet Yusuf (pbuh) is the only one narrated from beginning to end, but the Quran is replete with lessons intertwined with various contexts. These narratives serve distinct purposes, crucial for understanding the Quran’s message and the role of Prophet Muhammad. They provide guidance, affirm the prophethood of Muhammad, offer historical contexts to relevant issues, and impart moral and comprehensive guidance, which Muslims deeply value and integrate into their lives. Despite their narrative form, these stories are not mere tales about the Prophet’s life; rather, they contain timeless wisdom and guidance for humanity.

It is important to understand that Gabriel’s role was to deliver God’s message, which included guidance on how to live a righteous life according to God’s will. Muhammad’s life in the Quran serves to reinforce the teachings of Islam, provide practical examples for Muslims to follow, and offer guidance for all aspects of life.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.