Question: Asalamualikum, Shiek:  I hope you or a mmber of the social affairs department will take the time to address the following concern that my family and I have. Despite our best efforts as parents to provide our children with a nurturing and supportive muslim environment, including providing them with various extracurricular activities and opportunities for education and personal growth, we have run into a wall. We have noticed that as they have grown older, they have lost interest in faith and community. They have little respect for the mosque, their parents, and other families and muslims as well. What steps can the mosque take to address this issue and support families like mine? Since there are many others like us. And what can we as parents do to better support and guide children in their faith development?

Answer:
Walikumsalam, You are courageous for reaching out for the necessary help, and on this journey, I hope that I am the first stop as you continue to find the ultimate solution, InshaAllah.

The role of the community, including that of the musjid, plays a crucial role in supporting and guiding families. Muslim communities must work together to create a positive and supportive environment for children to grow and develop in their faith. This includes providing opportunities for education, mentorship, and community involvement. The musjid and Sunday school serves as a safe space where children can learn and discuss their faith in a positive and nurturing environment and prepare themselves for real world activities and responses. It is a collective effort between parents, community, and institutions to raise well-rounded and faithful children. The musjid alone cannot do it!

Many people mistakenly believe that simply being Muslim, doing a few correct things to fulfil appearances or having faith is enough to ensure a successful Islamic driven family. However, the reality is that parents may find themselves in the position of having children make mistakes, and communities may ostracize parents for being either too lenient or too strict. In truth, it is not a matter of strictness or leniency. Every child is unique and they may have different needs, ways of learning, and developing and this is where the challenge begins. Coupling these variables with parents having to deal with their own issues — such as work or educational matters, and parenting styles can play a role in contributing to a child’s behavior or outcome. These may include a lack of positive role models, peer pressure, exposure to negative influences, or underlying mental health issues.

To achieve a balanced approach to parenting, it is crucial to set clear boundaries and expectations while also providing support and secular and spiritual guidance. This guidance does not end at Sunday graduation; in fact, that is when it begins. Because this is the time when children are starting to think and be influenced by the general society and are left to do things on their own. Furthermore, it is essential for parents to actively communicate with their children and understand their needs, wants, and concerns. If a child is struggling, parents should not hesitate to seek professional help, such as a therapist or counselor, if necessary.

Parenting is a complex and dynamic process that requires a holistic approach. Achieving a balance between strictness and leniency, setting boundaries, providing guidance, and actively communicating with children can help prevent deviant behavior. Furthermore, seeking help from professionals when needed is important to ensure the well-being of the child and the family as a whole. The Musjid and community play a crucial role in supporting and guiding families in this process or make recommendations as to where to have these needs met..

For parents:

–Set clear boundaries and expectations for their children. This includes setting rules and consequences for breaking them, and being consistent in enforcing them.
–Actively communicate with their children and understand their needs, wants, and concerns. This includes regularly checking in with them and being open to listening to their thoughts and feelings.
–Seek professional help when needed. This may include seeking the advice of a therapist or counselor if a child is struggling with mental health issues, or seeking guidance from a religious leader if a child is struggling with their faith.

For children:

–Respect the boundaries and expectations set by their parents. This includes following the rules and being mindful of the consequences for breaking them.
–Communicate openly and honestly with their parents. This includes being honest about their thoughts and feelings and being willing to listen to their parents’ perspectives.
–Seek guidance and support from positive role models. This may include seeking mentorship from a teacher, counselor, or religious leader, or seeking advice from a trusted friend or family member.