Q: Skipping som major events and sparing you the drama involved , I took the hardest step in my life that I thought ill never do.. We eloped to Asia ..after my husband got a job offer we decided to leave this place and do what’s wright for both of use.. I couldn’t hurt myself any longer , I was desperate to break this culture although it meant breaking the hearts of the ones I love ..

My parents reported me to the officials of course , giving me some troubles leaving the airport but thank god we eventually did ( we left the asian city to an island for a month as its part of my husbands job)

After 3 months of negotiations by email and phone , i gave myfamily what the wanted , they said come back and get married here and save the family reputation etc. They assured me safety and not to harm my husband. Little did i know what they planned , once we arrived , i was banned travel and my husband was banned entry and was asked to leave..

Its been 6 month os separation and i miss my husband so much , he talk to me and we are both depressed , we started looking for ways to help us out of this , we are kind of reaching something sold that can reunite us in a few months .

I love my husband with no doubt , but he keeps remaining me that once I’m out I’m done thats it never to see my family again as they cant be trusted . Through all if what happened my family are good to me , although banning me illegally isn’t fair. But the idea of never seeing them again hurts me, i love my family and my extended family as well and its not fair to be separated from them or mu husband ! Having to choose is horrible, please advice me  im so confused , i want both but it’s impossible to have…they are stubborn and they never will accept they said its either them or him , but i don’t have a choice! They banned me how can this be freedom of choice

Sorry for the long story , i thought details will help

Please advise me

Thank you all

Time: December 25, 2015 at 1:36 PM

A: This is an islamic website. Therefore we have to answer based on the assumption that you are a Muslim seeking advice from an Islamic point of view.

You have given us mixed messages.  You call him your husband, but you also mention that they (your family) said come back and get married here and save the family reputation etc.’

Thus, if you are married, since this is the person you have chosen, even though such a marriage is against the sunnah, your nikah would still be valid. Therefore, it is best you go and live with your husband. You cannot have him and your family when your family does not want him at all.

If you are not in nikah, it would be best to forget about him and save both  your families unnecessary grief. Make Tauba and move on. InshaAllah Allah (SWT) will reopen your doors.

If he is indeed Muslim, have him explain to your family that he is willing to care for you. Show them proof that he has been good to you and that very few others can be like him. If they still reject, and you do have other options, you should start to consider them. If you are married to him, you would need to dissolve this current nikah before moving on. Contact your local mufti’s.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.