Q. aslamalikum i have a non muslim friend who is really interested in islam and she has a gay friend. we have tried to explain to her how we cant hang out with boys but she doesnt understand why we cant hang out with gay guy? she says he isnt like other boys hes gay why cant we hang out with him? Can u please help me explain why we cant hang out with her gay guy friend? thank you
Answer: Walikum-us-salam. Alhamdulillah, it is the first positive step that your friend has embarked upon with the mere realization that persons of the opposite gender cannot freely socialize as per Ayah:
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And go not go near to fornication (free mixing, intermingling, etc); surely it is an (act which leads towards) indecency and an evil way. 17:32
(Thus we are to focus briefly on the second part of your question.)
Our biology is made-up to allow for desires! So don’t displace it!
The second part of your question deals with the inquiry as to why a religious prohibition exists upon persons that wish to ‘hangout’ with homosexuals. Not being able to have a handle on why Muslims of the opposite gender cannot ‘hangout’ with friends when the possibility of desires emerging between such participants is limited or even non-existent is a fallacy at best. To assume that homosexuals lack desire for members external to their own fraternity is also myth. It is a flawed belief to take for granted that healthy men/woman lack desires for people of a gender other than their own. Biologically we have not been created as such. To think that we were created as such would be to presuppose a flaw within the human biological and social process. Such thinking would not only be incorrect, for given the right circumstances, homosexuals have claimed to have experimented with members of a gender other then their own — be it for strategic reasons, such that of procreation, etc.This is why Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) has placed such limitations!
Lets just just hang out?
Thus, Islam being the religion of safety, sanity, peace and a healthy physical and spiritual well being, invites and forgives all for sins people have committed so long as the sinner modifies and abstains from intentional and continual wrong. Consequently, a person who claims to be a Muslim cannot ‘hangout’ with any person with values which contradict a way of life associated with the Quran, Bible, etc. To contradict the teachings of all religious, prophets and pious woman is not viewed as the right way. Any person that blasphemes the life style of any prophet or member of the prophetic counsel either by physical or other behavior cannot be closely associated under normal circumstances. However, Islam and Muslims must offer such persons a sincere admonition to rectify present lifestyle choices.
Getting to the root of it all
Persons suffering from inadequate choice making pertaining to their sexuality must be made to understand their choices. Upon continual refusal to conform to choices that would physically as well as spiritually benefit them must be left to live with those that have similar values to themselves.
By contrast, a non-Muslim can hang out with whomever they want. Hopefully they would choose that which is within the law of their religion and land. Muslims cannot sanction behavior that is against their core value system, systems that openly violate the Quran, Bibles, Scriptures, etc.
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What! Do you really approach men lustfully rather than women? 27:55
Allah certainly knows best.