Know Your Deen

Islamic QA for North America

November 12, 2008
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
0 comments

Children and wudhu

Q. Children sometimes urinate while their diapers are being changed. Does the person changing the child, that very child that has just urinated on my hand, make a fresh wudhu once the child has been changed? Does touching a child’s private part break my wuzu?

A. The Ahnaf consider the ‘changers of diapers’ to have their wudhu intact, despite cleaning urine, blood, etc. Shawafee state that the wudhu is broken only if the inner palm area of the ‘ diaper changer’ had touched the front and or the (inside surface) anus of the child being changed.

Thus, we advice the parent that when changing a child, try not to use the inner  palm portion of your hand to cleanse the private area of a child. That way you would not be in doubt as to whether your wudhu is broken or not. (May you continue with the joys of parenthood, Ameen.)

Allah certainly knows best.

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November 11, 2008
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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Is your goat halaal, man?

Q. Some people ask at the eating table if my food is haram or halal. I am a Muslim. This is wrong.

A. The manner in which some people ask is rude and obnoxious. However, sometimes it can be asked if a given food is Halal or Haram. One can do so under the following conditions:

1) If the host is earning money which is doubtful, or is an open transgressor of the religion, if he is gaining his money from the sale of alcohol, or is a gambler, then one should ask where he has bought his food. Although it would be more preferred that you do not eat from such a host, but if you had to consume his/her food, then asking such a person would be allowed.

2) If the food itself is strange. It is something you have never eaten or seen. Then you can ask what it is that you are eating. It may be also good to find out what the religious scholars (authentic qualified ulama) have said regarding that given food. However, if you are still in doubt regarding what you are to consume, then it would be best for you to abstain from consuming foods that you are unfamiliar with.

To ask on the eating table can be rude, unless you are among close friends who are familiar with you. However, if something is haram, it would be best to tell it to those who are close to you without creating a fuss or scene. This is far from piety.  If you are on the ‘best of terms’ with the host, you can pull him/her aside and inform them about your findings, and let them decide what needs to be done.  This would be the dignified way to resolve the possible conflict of Halal or Haram in a non-Islamic country.

Allah certainly knows best.

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November 11, 2008
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
0 comments

Marriage by phone

Q. We got married on the phone with witnesses. My parents knew her, she knew my parents. I live in America, she lives in Malaysia. The 3rd party which helped with the fixing were given false data, and gave false data to both sides to make this marriage go through. This was found out 2 years into our marriage. We have not met face to face yet. She does not want to go through with the marriage. She says that the foundation is weak because of lies and wants to dissolve the marriage saying that if Allah wills, later on we can get remarried. There is no later on for me. I do not want to give her the divorce, for the lies were not our fault. She is insisting on the divorce; now what do I do, do I have to give her the divorce?

A. Third parties generally feel they have done you both a favor, and usually walk away, or make matters worse. If they are of rational and non-arrogant temperament, then ask them for clarification. Also, both of you have to examine the type of deception that took place. Did the third party lie about critical beliefs and values, as to the chastity of the woman/man, belief in Allah and Rasulullah (Sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) or was it lies that pertained to the intended husband having a Mercedes while, in reality, he owned a beat up Jeep? Or was the lie regarding her cooking skills when in reality she has to wait for food to arrive from ‘mommas kitchen?’ After you have evaluated the type of lies, you both would have to see if those lies would really inhibit the growth of the relationship. If it turns out that you both are always going to ‘dump truck’ the past, and bring up every little thing that was talked about during the premarital stage, then in the interest of your future, it would be best that you both go to local mufti or someone you both trust, and have the matter fully resolved before consummation of the marriage takes place.

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November 11, 2008
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
0 comments

Sing a song

Q. I am addicted to songs. Are songs and nasheeds allowed? Some say singing and songs are okay because they use words of Allah and Prophet (SAW).

A. Using words such as Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) and Rasulullah (Sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) does not make a thing permissible. If what you are listening to lacks musical instruments, then it would be permissible. If it has music, as do many western songs, then its prohibition would remain, even though it may be titled an ‘Islamic song.’ A mere title is not evidence for its permissibility or validity. Usage of the duff would allow for its permissibility; however, difference of opinion exists as to who should use the duff, and under what occasion. Thus, if a person is singing nasheeds without the assistance of anything other than one’s naturally talented voice, then it would be most ideal to listen to such a ‘talented individual.’

However, in your case, you should let go of listening to even the permissible nasheeds, due to your claim of ‘addiction.’  Islam supports balance, and an ‘addiction’ is not the feature of a balanced person. Thus, if you are listening to ‘non-musically enhanced’ nasheeds which are directed by human talent, then we suggest you do so in moderation. And such permissibility would continue so long as it does not become a distraction for you in attaining greater levels of closeness to Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala).

Allah certainly knows best.

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November 10, 2008
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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To cut or not?

Q. Cesarean section, is it allowed or not? I am in my 40’s, my husband has no opinion regarding me having a cs. My friends feel that due to my age having it would be best for my health. Can you help with a religious ruling.

A. Cesarean Sections (cs) have become popular among Muslim woman in western and Islamic oriented countries, as a result of western influence regarding the birth-giving process. Sometimes, the decision for a cs is due to employment issues, liberal thought, anxiety,  ‘woman peer  pressure,’ the fear of natural birth, maintaining of the body in a certain way, etc. Some of these excuses have little to no validity in Islam. Thus, hereunder, we would discuss the conditions under which a woman can take part in cs, and under what conditions it would be best to abstain from having a cs.

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November 10, 2008
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
1 Comment

You’re overdressed!

Q. Why does Islam want woman to over-dress themselves. Like hijab or face cover, some want woman to wear gloves, others socks …..?

A. Islam and humanity prefer people to be well clad to prevent people from selling their sexuality and sensuality to strangers, and to discourage people behaving like hooligans towards them. Proper dress code also deals with modesty, and modesty is part of Imaan. All major and true religions have sanctioned similar dress code rules.

As far as hijab goes – part of its definition entails the face being covered. It is highly preferred that a woman wears it, so as to minimize male predatory behavior upon woman. (There is a difference between the words preferred and fard!) Regarding gloves and socks, a woman can save herself from wearing them, however, it is makrooh (disliked) to expose the feet, more so if she is to wear anklets and henna (type of polish) to heighten her feminine appeal.

Here is a portion of Hadith which had been narrated on the authority of ‘Imran b. Husain. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “Modesty brings forth nothing but goodness.” (Muslim. Book 1, Number 59)

Dressing is part of modesty, it is best you observe it.

Allah certainly knows best.

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November 10, 2008
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
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Loaning for luxuries?!

Q. I loaned people a lotta money. Friends, family, everyone. They take forever to pay me back but they have money for better cars than me, awesome houses, luxury weddings …  sometimes, I get my money after 5 years. It’s really frustrating. Does one have to loan people? If Allah has given me wealth, do I have to become a bank?

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November 9, 2008
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
0 comments

Please forgive me!

Q. Does one have to ask everyone for forgiveness before going to Hajj? Is this not a bidah (innovation) to do so? I get calls from people I have never spoken to all year. Then all of a sudden they ask me for forgiveness.

A. 1) You do not have to ask people for forgiveness before going for Hajj. Asking for forgiveness is for those of us who may have violated the rights of others as a result of our interaction with them.  As humans, we must try to mend our ways, and the best way to achieve this is to ask for forgiveness. Therefore, we must ask those individuals whose rights we have transgressed, either as a result of backbiting, slander, etc.  Due to violating the rights of others,  seeking their forgiveness becomes imperative and it is hoped that they would be kind to forgive us and let go of unwanted baggage.

A.2) The Qur’an talks about forgiveness, the Hadith talks about forgiveness. How can it be a bid’ah? (I really don’t think the following Hadith is ‘bid’ah!’)

Sayidinah Aisha (radiAllahu anha), mentions that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

Forgive the people of good qualities (due to) their slips.

Sunnan abu dawood Book 38, Number 4362

Allah certainly knows best.

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November 9, 2008
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
0 comments

When to pray?

Q. Hanafee and shafee salaah times are different. What do I do when I am in Haramain-ash-shareefain?

A. When you perform salaah in the Haram, then follow the imaam of the Haram. When you are alone, then you have to follow what your Madhab calls for you to follow — whether you’re Hanafee, Shafee, Maliki, Manbali, etc. (From your question, are you merely assuming that imams of the haram are Shafee? Never assume my friend.)

Allah certainly knows best.

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November 9, 2008
by Ml. Muhammed Shoayb
1 Comment

Mahram issues

Q. I am a female. I married a non-Muslim 3 years ago. I was told that my husband cannot go for hajj with me. But he is my husband and he should be my mahram.

A. In Islam, a woman cannot marry a disbeliever. Hajj with such a man would be invalid. However, if he voluntarily converts to Islam and makes a valid Nikah, than only would the marriage and Hajj be worthy of acceptance and consequently thus be sharia compliant as well, Insha-Allah.

Allah certainly knows best.

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