Know Your Deen

Q: ASAK, i belong to a north India sunni muslim and there is a girl from rajasthan who i want to marry, we both like each other and my parents are accepting the girl as well. The issue is with the girls parents that they ony marry their children within their community ( Rajasthanis), they overlook their childrens’ consent and forcibly impose their decisions on them. many of their children were being engaged at the juveline age. They are not permissted to put up their choice. Now in my case, will the marriage with this girl without parental consent would be considered as bidat as described by you in the other posts.
Time: Friday March 11, 2011 at 3:04 pm

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• I respect the time you have taken out to send us your concern. It all fairness, this is your side of the query and I am taking it at face value as it relates to its content and accuracy.
• Parents have the right to refuse the choice of their daughters’ spousal partner on the grounds of compatibility — be it religious or other aspects that relate to the security of the woman, more so, if it is her first marriage. (Parental refusal would not always call for a denial to marriage.)
• A forced or coerced marriage is not part of religion. The woman has the right to refuse a proposal to marry a particular man. She must inform the witnesses that have been appointed on her behalf that she does not wish to proceed with any individual she finds unfavorable.
• A forced marriage eliminates choice. Choice remains an essential criterion for marriage as it relates to a free, mature intelligent person. It is also correct to additionally say that marriage is between two people that share an attraction within the boundaries of religion. This aspect is also part of Islam and discussed in the books of fiqh (jurisprudence.)
• I do not have enough particular facts regarding your case — age of female, your age, etc. except to say: if she is young (yet mature and of marital age) and other proposals do come for her from men of her ‘background’ coupled with similar or better religiosity then you,  than in such a situation her first choice should not necessarily be you. If she is older than those woman in her locality and proposals have all stopped for her while racism is the only prohibiting factor between her and you coupled with the fact that both of you being on the brink of adultery, then in such a situation marriage would have (although remote) sanction. Under ideal conditions, marriage without parental sanction is a ‘wretched’ action reducing barakah (blessedness.)
• Its best to take this response and your case to your local mufti for a superior evaluation. A scholar would know exactly what I am referring to as they read my response.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.