Q. A sheik talks to my wife. Is this permissible behavior for a man of Allah to do so? I do not want him to talk to her. What is the sharia ruling regarding such communication? Can a woman call a religious person for talking?

Answer: On the surface, your question gives the impression of innocence and blamelessness. A hoodwinked scholar would side with your brief question and go on an attack upon either your wife for the phone calls she has made, or upon the scholar for receiving and accepting such phone calls. Alternatively, a person may prematurely place unfair criticism on both the parties. To be fair, and prior to my continuing, let me ask you one simple question.  What have you done, my brother, that has contributed to your wife calling a scholar to pose her personal issues to him?

Here are scenarios on how scholars get their phone calls and the predicament they are faced with in a Western country.

Scenario 1: Experience has made the following clear: Women (and men) with problems tend to convey the message of their pain to people who they feel can help resolve their hurt. In the process of them doing so, the ‘religious husband,’ due to guilt, realizes that his problem is being aired in public, thus, in order to save face, he would send the following question to a religious body:  does Islam allow a woman to talk to a religious scholar? He knows full well that a woman needs her husbands consent to speak to any non-Mahram male. What such a male forgets to inform us is that he is beating his wife, and thus she is asking for advice. Sometimes he is withholding certain benefits towards his wife and she is demanding her rights regarding abuse pertaining to the rights of her children. Sometimes, due to a previous marriage, her children may be having insults hurdled towards them from their ‘new father.’ Her calls could be as a result of her wanting clarification as to how to proceed with matters that we will spare the details of at current, etc. Men forget to tell the scholar of all such abuses and occurrences, at the time of the female seeking a solution. (Mind you, women are no different, so do not think today to be a declaration of Male-bashing Monday!)

Also, religious leaders who do not offer help to the weak and abused by giving sound advice regarding issues that pertain to a victim’s life and liberty can expose themselves to being  liable in a western environment as being part of the problem/crime/abuse/ etc. Thus, his refusal of her calls can jeopardize his entire community with him being viewed as a supporter of possible criminality, and the like.

Scenario 2: If you are a man, than you should go with your wife or call the scholar to deal with the matter in a fair and rational manner. This would constitute the ideal situation to aid in resolving your matter. If you a ‘macho man type of guy’ and refuse to want to deal with the scholar of her choice, then take the matter to a scholar you both respect, a scholar you both chose together in helping with your crises.

Scenario 3: If she is attracted to the scholar, or you sense foul play on either side, then have a meeting between the three of you. Or, have another scholar mediate between you all. Have this second scholar help you, your wife, and this scholar regarding a solution to what you perceive may be the problem.

Advice for you and scholars

Scenario 4: Should your wife be suffering abuse at your hands, the scholar should have the case handed over to social services, or hand the woman to a legal professional support group to deal with the matter. In the case of abuse, he must inform her of her rights and choices to contact the appropriate departments to aid her resolve the matter. It is not that Muslims should punish Muslims before disbelievers; rather, Muslims refusing to work within the framework of the law has caused security concerns for scholars and innocent members of the community. Scholars must think on multiple levels – personal, community, within the secular legal and Islamic legal framework. Lacking such critical skills functions as a major impediment to doing good for the community.

Scenario 5: Scholars should take calls from female callers with their wives being present. If the scholar is single or lacks the ability of having his wife present, then female callers must present their case in the presence of a Mahram.

In light of the above, we request you to re-send your question comprising of greater clarity. Or merely reflect upon the above advices we have kindly shared with you.
May Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) bless your family and bestow tranquility upon all households, Ameen.

Allah certainly knows best.