Q. Asalamualikom,
“never judge a book by it’s cover.” In my case it is trusting a person immediately even before knowing them, especially when they are Muslims. Lets just say I put my trust in a certain person (because of who they hang out with and the way they dress. i know i learned my lesson) {Or people they claim to hang out with, comments they have heard, truthful or not, etc.} And i know for a fact that it is not just me that trusts this certain person, lots of people tend to trust him/her too quick because of just the way that person’s personality is. Lately i have been getting a vibe that this person is not so honest/modest as they appear to everyone and so i waited to make sure i wasn’t accusing. Now i am 99.9 % sure that i was right. I need advice on how to tell my other friends about that certain person. Should I tell them what is going on and show evidence (some might not take my word over that individuals) or should i just warn them and that’s it?

Q. At the potluck on Sunday you talked about the ills of cell phones the impact of MySpace (both of which I have)  Do I just abandon all my friends that do haram on it?

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Oh you who believe, fear Allah and be those that are truthful.

• Never does a person need to trust anyone to the level of making them effective decision makers in their affairs, merely as a result of them being Muslims. (Derived from Hadith) Indeed, as Muslims we are called to give the benefit of doubt to all, until proven otherwise. However, we are always called upon to use our best judgment, and never let our judgment become impaired.

• When proof does exist pertaining to a matter, there are two things one must weight:  Does the delinquents  adverse traits remain harmful the community (the masses), or are the adversities limited to themselves or an isolated few that wishers to interact with such a person as a result of their greed, gullibility, misjudgment, etc.

Example types of information we can pass on to 3rd parties

(Observe the fineness in the following two examples)

1.If a person due to laziness does not perform fajr salaah, we cannot announce this persons fault to the world.  It is a private matter, and we should leave the matter private. However, we can always advice such a person of their given ills

2a) a woman/man wanting to marry an individual that performs fajr salaah deserves to know if the intended spouse performs their fajr salaah or not, and to conceal this information would be a breach of trust. In marriage, business partnerships, etc. we cannot conceal or misrepresent information that persons deem necessary and would affect them directly.

2b) For reasons of personal safety and integrity, even if a person wants to know if a potential spouse performs fajr salaah, or the integrity of a business partner, woman/man, we need not share that information if we know that the recipient of the given information would broadcast it to individuals using the information-givers name. If breach is perceived, all one needs to say is the following: I cannot share all that you may like. It is best that you ask someone else. Or one can merely practice silence on the matter. This way, the  sharer of information protects themselves. This last scenario needs to be more exercised within our current environments.

Don’t become a sinner by talking about those (possibly) forgiven

Thus, should you share negative information pertaining to others whilst in reality conveying such information need not be shared, or the violator has asked Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) for forgiveness, then in such an instance, you would be sinful in passing such information on. You could possibly turn from victim to oppressor. It would be best for you to warn people as to the evil traits of humanity then specify a particular persons faults. (As usually does the imaam of this site, if only people read between the lines of given responses!)

Pious dress

Dress should not function as a gauge of religiosity. To trust a person based on dress shows lack of deeper Islamic intuition.

It’s (or is it) just a vibe

A vibe is not sufficient enough to walk away from a person if they share the same gender, posses family relations, or the same religious beliefs as you. However, if a ‘vibe’ is defined as insight from Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala), then this insight cannot be viewed as proof, but a gift from Allah to implement caution regarding the given person. Do not break away unless the relationship itself is viewed as haram, or calls for haram practices.

99.99999% too is not enough

The fact that your information is only 99.9% and not 100% whilst being in the category of ‘vibe mode’ shows a possible lack of adequate witnesses to all transactions that took place. To protect each party,  Islam would not view 99.9% as sufficient proof to disclose anything about another. Proof constitutes credible eyewitnesses, understanding motive, maturity, sanity, marital status for a full punishment of what is known as the Hadd, confessions made by the perpetrator of wrong, etc. A mere letter, text message, email, etc. would taint a person’s image; however, it still remains under debate as to the accuracy of such data collected by parties. Also, if the matter is between cross gender- non-mahram, due to the relationship being in question, the data too would be viewed as unimpressive.  Our best advice thus would be as follows:

Situation 1: if the person creating problems is female and so are you, then its best you keep silent if you feel that matters would get out of control. Instead, be polite, give advice to the individual, and continue  making duaa that Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) gives the person true guidance.

Situation 2: if it is a cross gender non-mahram, then you should abstain from such relationships anyway.

The best for last:

‘When in doubt, abstain.’ (Hadith) Don’t make a scene and expose people, lest should the same occur to you or the ones you love most. What goes around comes around. Instead make duaa for him/her and the Umaah. Conceal the wrongs of others on private matters, and Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) would conceal your matters — be they matters of privacy or within the public domain, insha-Allah. Ameen. (Hadith paraphrased) Never stoop to the level of those you may despise!

May Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) help us rectify our deeds, Ameen.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

p.s. the above querry lacks specifity, thus the lenght and general nature of response.