Q. I am fearful that when I get married to the the person my parents want me to get married to I would go through what my sisters went through. My brother in law hurts her and refuses to divorce her and she wants out of the abuse. We are traditional in ways and divorce is impossible and not an option. What can I do to get me get divorce I would need when I get married and he refuses to divorce me ……

Answer:

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And if a wife fears abuse or desertion on the part of her husband, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves, and reconciliation is better, and covetousness has been made to be present in the (people’s) minds; and if you do good (to others) and guard (against evil), then surely Allah is aware of what you do. (4:128)

One should be realistic and confidant as to the relationship they are going to be part of. One must not be pessimistic about the right choices one is to make. Shaytan sometimes makes us delve into aspects that relate to negativity.

However, if you are marrying a person that has a history of abuse, or a family that has a history of not treating people with due respect, etc. then under such condition the following could apply to woman:

• She requests the authority of attaining a divorce upon proven abuse. She can stipulate that upon proven medical injury and a fair 3^rd party approval a divorce can be issued for a woman without the necessary complications

• She can request Khula. Khula is when a woman offers money, gold, of something of value in exchange of divorce, and the man accepts that offer in that given sitting. Delaying the acceptance as mentioned negates the khula.

• She can take the matters to the Islamic group of scholars and have them nullify the nikah. This procedure takes longer then the first option mentioned above. For the right to allow for its negation is entirely up to the scholars. In the first option, the option is hers with her giving a 3^rd party to help with an accurate assessment of the situation.

• Under no circumstances can she divorce him without any justification of harm. Nor should a man divorce a woman without any valid reasoning.

The above are some of the conditions that would allow a woman to attain a divorce through an Islamic system. Muslims in the United States must also undergo the legal process to secure their divorce as legitimate. In no way should we supersede the laws of our religion and country whilst choosing to reside in our respective countries.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.