Q. I am a 24 year old man from a religious family, and so is my wife-to-be, or so I thought. She is 21. That is why I got engaged to this girl. Now I found out she has secret male friends who she contacts and occasionally meets just to talk to. Her father does not want me to talk to her because in Shariat a ghair mahram (strangers) cannot talk unless they are married. We are not allowed to talk or meet but I am hearing from people we both know that she meets as well as talks to boys. She also takes personal calls at night from these boys.  As for me, I don’t have any girls as friends because I know it is haraam. Her actions show she does not care for me the way I do for her and that religiously we are heading in different directions. Should I end this so future problems are stopped? Should I contact her parents and talk about it with them?

A. You are a blessed man. Allah (SWT) has shown you a side of her that is necessary for every marital partner to know, if of course, they are inclined to seeking a religiously inclined spouse.  There are certain things a person must have sabr (patience) in, and certain things they must just walk away from. You are called upon to walk away via a sign Allah has placed in your pathway.  You now have two choices, accept immorality, or seek someone with the help of credible people. i.e. parents, aunts, etc. Talking to her parents would not change who she is. In-fact, they may stop her public display of immorality, but you as a spouse, there is a great chance that you will have to deal with this behavior for the rest of your life. Her parents had 21 years to help her straighten out her values.  By getting them into this fix would either make them upset of make her more crafty in her schemes.  However, you can inform them as to why you feel you are incompatible and thereafter let her go like a bird to be flown away… But do not tell them and later marry her, this would be to train her on her becoming professionally irreligious with a fake religious front… (it is hard to straighten a bent tree, you too young to learn the hard way.)
Thus, I would say the following: You are not required to endure any type of anxiety or patience if the woman your are marring (or married too) possesses loose morals in the form of having relationships with men that Islam prohibits.
Compatibility in marriage is essential. It is built on trust and following the commands that both parties believe in. Marital partners that are not religiously compatible, (even though the backgrounds may seem compatible) result in a relationship filled with unwanted conflicts.  Higher levels of marital uncertainty and dissatisfaction would also prevail. It is best you walk out now than suffer the unbearable grief and agony of divorce, and cause unwanted hassle between yourselves, your families and friends. Walking away would be tough, due to the emotional investment already in place, but you got to do what you got to do to safeguard your Imaan, and the Imaan of you future. Today it is talking to men in the home of her parents, who know what tomorrow would bring!!! Cut your losses and walk away.

Surely Allah Knows Best.