Assalaamu alaikum respected Imaam,
My brother has seemed to gotten into the habit of blogging and has been over zealous about it, constantly checking if he has any comments and thinking about new posts to make. He seems to be even getting anti-social. What do we do to take him off this obsession?
Jazakallah khair Imaam.
Answer: Wa-alikum-us-salam respected member of the Ummah. Our sincere prayer is that Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) reward you for your concern relating to your brother. Your caring and compassion Insah-Allah would be of benefit to your family as well as the Ummah at large, Ameen.
The broad picture: (first things first)
Alhamdulillah, Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) has created countless of things for benefit of humanity. However, anything done in excess causes harm. Harmful for the body is over eating. Hanging out too much with friends can cause a lapse in ones studies, or hinder other more critical responsibilities. Reading too much of anything, or for that matter, praying all the time at the expense of fulfilling other obligations can harm ones health or even ones religion. Islam being a religion of balance demands balance in all matters of a muslims life.
About the ‘blogging ‘matter:
Concerning the issue you have presented to us, we first realize that there are two sides to everything. Taking the assumption that what you saying is indeed the case. We must first acknowledge that blogging in itself is not a Haram, nor a problem. So long as blogging benefit humanity in a healthy manner and topics are not against the values of ones religion or against ones national values. For example, if your brother blogs on issues that create benefit to humanity, then Insha-Allah, Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) would reward him greatly.
But naturally, this is not your concern. Your concern is the ‘zealous’ nature that has interrupted his healthy way of life. For this we are to offer steps you can utilize to understand the matter in a more superior manner whilst helping him reduce his addiction to blog postings. For starters, you must try and find out what has caused him to become this way. Shaytan is shrewd. Sometimes shaytan makes people do things to avoid other greater responsibilities, and thus traps a person to spend their energies in things like ‘blogging.’ Etc.
Although you can help him, ideally, your brother must be the one that states some of the following:
‘I do have a problem, I cannot stop thinking about new topics and issues. My behavior is affecting my relationship with those that love me. I want Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala)to guide me in making choices that are good.’
If one does not acknowledge that they have a problem, there is little you can do to help. As you may witness, lack of responsibility creates hostility and animosity between varying concerned members. This does not mean that you must ignore the issue. As Muslims, when we see wrong, or any form of excess, more so, unhealthy excesses with those we love, it becomes vital that we try and help such individuals. Help does not for us to make the matter worst. It means doing things in a manner that would remedy a poor situation..
Here are some essential questions that need to be also answered:
- One has to find out, if and when they are not blogging, do they get a lonely feeling, depression overcomes them, they feel empty and sad. When new topics are difficult to come by, does irritability, anger and despondency set in?
- Does the person use this newly found habit to kill time, release stress, or a privilege they are abusing?
- Can this habit be replaced by a more balanced deed? To do a better deed, one must find a better action to take part in. Or else the person can result is doing something more worst with their time, and that would not be good either! This is where your creativity can be of an asset to your family.
Solution phase: (finally)
- Give him support to a new and better way to balance out his actions.
- Some people by nature are prone to doing things in excess, they go through phases. They get hooked, they enjoy a task until they get bored, then they move on to the next project. This is not islam, such behavior lacks a sense of balance. If this is the problem, then you have to help eliminate such behavior, and help replace parts of it for something more constructive.
- Be patient and use wisdom at all times; help break the habit over a period of time. Help set goals. E.g. Help start him off with an 8 hour break from the computer, then a 13 hour hours break. Work him up to the point of going to the computer once a day. Then if necessary, help him to blog constructively only 3 times a week with few hour sessions. This insha-Allah should help with a clean and positive yet healthy break.
- Your success depends on your patience. Behavioral changers do not occur over night, for the creation of the problem was not overnight either.. Nor is your solution going to be fulfilled with a single response.
When the mood is most conducive, show him your caring attitude (and our response if it would not aggravate matters for you., and have him evaluate our thoughts as well.) We are positive that your family member know sthat you care.
May Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) help all of us make decisions that would be beneficial to all of humanity at all times, Ameen.
Allah certainly knows best.
added links for a better perspective:
http://islaminaction.wordpress.com/2009/01/07/impact-of-medi/