Q: I have committed so much sin in my life. there is no hope for me. I get away from one sin to another. And after a while i see myself back in that same sin. I feel like my heart became dark that the quran doesn’t have effect on it. I listened to lectures and fail to follow what it said. When i go to islamic events such as conference, I feel guilty of all my sins, and just want to repent. After a while I see myself in that same spot again. when I was young i was really good muslim but now i feel like there is no place for me in this world. I started to hate myself, and lost connection with my family. I tried to find a good companion, but couldnt find one. My only good source for me to learn about islam is thru youtube. I dont know where to start from, i fee like I am lost n no hope for me. I disobed my Creator so many times, and he always gives me a chance, but now i feel like he give up on me because I failed n ruined my life.
Time: Wednesday July 14, 2010 at 12:11 am
A: You are trying to seek out change. Change is not easy. Shaytan would trouble you more then others due to the good you are trying to accomplish. Shaytan places an unhealthy dosage of guilt. Shaytan makes you forget that Islam is a religion that lives between fear and hope (hadith.) Not a one sided sense of lopsidedness.
You are blessed in that Allah is giving you insight as to what you really need to do to get closer to Him. Remember, Allah never gives up, it is we that give up due to lowly morals and values. In actuality, Allah (SWT) is placing thoughts in your heart to assist you in not continuing on wrongful pathways. Do not take to seeking out friends. Make your Creator your best Friend. Ask Him for Guidance and Assistance in doing the right things. Shaytan is seeing that you are opting for change and is attemting to hinder you. Do not let shaytan and his agents prevent you from being the very best.
You need time out to reflect on the Greatness of Allah (SWT.) Start with 10 minutes dedicated to each morning and evening.
Should you still have more questions, you know where you reach us at.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.