Question:

sallam,
I have been thru a lot in my life. alhamdulelah Allah always helps me out and i repent from my sins but now i have been repeatedly doing the same sin again and again even though i promised i will never go back to it. I feel my imam (imaan) is becoming weak everyday and worried about Allah’s anger. even sometimes i feel like Allah will never forgive me for my sins because i keep promising and going back. what are the steps to repentance? i heard if a person breaks a promise they made to Allah(SWT) then they must fast three days, is this true?

Time Sent: Tuesday May 19, 2009 at 9:03 pm

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Going through a lot in life, and yet remaining a Muslim shows that Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) loves and cares a lot about you. Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) tests some people to make them stronger believers. This should make you grateful and hopeful towards the added mercy of Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) upon you. You are being blessed, and yet you are humble to seek even better of religion. Shaytan and his agents never want you to see this Merciful side of Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala). Shaytan prefers you to brood on the wrongs you have done, lose hope and walk away from deen.

Wrongs are of two types: Allah and humanity

1. Wrongs towards Allah include not performing salah, giving zakat, performing the hajj when able to do so, dealing in interest, taking part in minor and major shirk, etc. All these sins can be forgiven by Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) if the sinner repents and relinquishes negative habits. To do so is simple, merely ask Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) for forgiveness, put right your wrongs, and if you repeat errors, ask Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) for a sincere forgiveness again. Do not let shaytan make you feel guilty. Shaytans guilt is to hinder your future spiritual growth. Shaytan wants you to become despondent, so you can stagnate in life.

2. Wrongs towards humanity include gossiping, slandering, not paying back loans, being mean to people, cheating on exams, stealing your best friends watch, etc. These actions violate the rights of fellow humans. If the people whose trust you violated do not forgive you, then on the Day of Judgment you would have to give some of your good rewards to the ones you hurt. In this second type, you must ask the person you have wronged for forgiveness. Asking Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) alone would not be sufficient.

When a person feels like their Imaan is weakening:

This is a sign that Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) wants to help you by giving you insight into yourself. When a believer does a wrong and they feel that their Imaan is affected due to their transgressions, it means that they are possessing a great deal of good in themselves and Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) is giving them a second chance to reflect and avert farther evil. Hardness of the heart is as a result of people doing wrong, justifying their wrongs, in the process not caring as to the outcome of their Imaan. Allah is preventing you from such a nasty attitude. One only becomes worthy of Allah’s anger when they persist on evil. This you are being prevented from, Alhamdulillah.

Reality of Allah

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Say (oh Muhammad SAW): O My slaves (servants) who have been reckless to themselves (doing evil)! Despair not in the Mercy of Allah, Verily Allah forgives all sins. Verily Allah is the most Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) will always forgive His servants. To despair in His Mercy is to relinquish hope in Him. To give up hope in Allah is tantamount to disbelief. This is wrong for a believer. Thus a Muslim always prays for the love and compassion of Allah upon all.

What you can do to become stronger

Above, you mentioned ‘sallam’ instead of Asalamualikum. Many of us are guilty of this. (So am i at times.) Seeing you want to rectify your life, let us help you a little. The first step for you would be to practice whatever little you can from the Quran and sunnah. The following points are mentioned in Hadith for improving one’s self. A simple suggestion would be inclusive of sharing the complete Islamic greeting when greeting one another. Take its words serious and live up to its value. Share love and peace to all people worthy of it. This may seem trivial, but it is a starting point. Learn to visit the sick. Go to the invitations of the pious. Eat halaal foods. Look at that which is pure, and not that which is forbidden. Following even the minutest of sunnah helps chip away with sinning and heart filled restlessness. It brings joy to strengthening ones Imaan.

The ability to repent is proof that Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) loves you and wants the very best for you. Few people have the ability to repent sincerely as a result of wrong. Consider yourself blessed.

Allah certainly knows best.

(Regarding promises, go here)