Question (scenario)

asalam-0-alequm, i lost my father when i was 12 since then my mother has been my guardian though i have a brother and two brother-in-law but none of them supported. my brother is married and has to support his family first. in 2006 i was engaged forcefully with a person i did not want to marry as i wanted to continue my studies which i had to abandon if i was to be married off. for a month i talked on telephone with the person (whom i was engaged with) and started to like him, after a month my family ended up in a fight with my to be in-laws. they wanted to break off the engagement but since i started liking that person and even met him with relatives along not alone, i did not want to break it off but my family enforced me to and i had to. after that many proposals came and i was presented in front of the family interested several times. in the beginning i did not have any problems but gradually i got frustrated as i had to present myself to different people everytime. fristly, is
there any custom of getting married by presenting the girl? secondly, from islamic point of view, on broken engagemnt part who was justified, me or my parent? the proposals are still coming and rejection is mostly from my side. last year a boy wanted to send a proposal for me i know him as a friend and like him too and is of the consent to marry him. when i talked about this with my family, they were enraged. they refuse to meet or talk with that boys family on the grounds that he is of different cast, have two sisters who are to be married off as yet though their burden directly do not falls on his shoulder solely, his parents are alive and so is his other brothers who share the responsibility, even i do not have any problem and do not consider this as a valid point to refuse.another issue raised by my family is that the boyz family is big with four sisters and 6 brothers,also, according to my brother-in-law, he had asked someone to investigate on that boyz family and told they are
not a good family. when i asked them why? their answer is that i dont trust them and they do not give me or tell me anything regarding his family. all they say is he do not have a good family though as far as i know, their family follows more islamic rules than my family do and that is another reason for my consent as i believe it will make my faith stronger. it was this boy who actually convinced me on the concept of taking hijab for we often had discussions on islam.i am of 23 years of age and like every human have the physical needs to fulfill for which i have started having the urge.from islamic point of view,what should i do about the situation? secondly, in islam, is marriage with your own choice allowed regarding my situation with that boy? how should i get my mother convinced who rel;y on the decisions taken by the other members of my family e.g my brother and my brothe-in-laws who do not support me nor are my guardian? from islamic point of view, what is the degree of
interference that other members of my family can have in taking decisions of my life?

Answer:

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You have personal matters that need to be addressed. You need sincere professional help from a person that is aware of secular and Islamic values. Based on your communication style, presentation of the matter, etc. we cannot help you at this time.

Kindly refer to the following, should you insist on seeking our assistance: http://islaminaction.wordpress.com/?s=marriage+proposal or http://islaminaction.wordpress.com/?s=marriage

May Allah (Subhanahu Wata’Ala) make matters an ease and cormfort for all people.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.