Q: Asalaamualaikum , I urgently need advice regarding marriage without consent of parents. I have read the other posts regarding this matter however, my story is unique. both my parents are aware of the fact that I am currently seeing someone as I have told them suggesting that he would like to approach them in order for our proposal to be arranged. He is 25 years of age and I am 20 and currently studying. I have discussed my reasons with my father as why I would want to be married. firstly, I love him, marriage or even a proposal where we can be allowed to see each other legally without having to meet secretly to avoid creating sin. Secondly, due to my career path I will eventually have to serve in a rural area for two years, However if I am registered my chances of serving in such a location is minimum. my parents relationship however is not steady and due to that they have disregarded my plea .This type of behaviour is common in my family as my cousin who is now 30 years of age is still unmarried due to disregard of her many attempts. both my parents are aware of the fact that if their daughter suggests she wants to get married , it is sinful to stop her as she will only be creating sin/zina. my life has always been problematic for as long as I can remember and my parents relationship has always been inconsistent . I now am left with no hope. Everyday I question as why am I going through such difficulties and life for me is now unbearable. Marriage for me is my key to happiness .I therefor would like to seek your advice if we can make nikka without consent of my parents.
Time: October 26, 2013 at 4:31 AM
A: Walaikumsalam,
Your parents being aware of the person you seeking to marry makes your matter much easier. Invite him over to have a heart to heart conversation with your family. As for your age, you are young and thus still have an advantage as it relates to a possible waiting. Therefore, to totally disregard your parents would not be a very wise gesture. Likewise, marriage is not always a solution for attaining happiness. Using marriage as an escape can only contribute to greater ills. Your potential spouse may not respect you as much upon knowing that you did not have full respect for your parents wishers. If a man/woman does not respect their parents, what are the chances that they would respect their given spouse? You must think beyond lust, love and mere desire.
If you feel that both of you cannot control your urges, you would be allowed to get married, however, as a request, i would suggest parameters between the both of your be established until your parents have given you both their full blessing and consent. In all honesty, you are possibly placing yourself in an unwanted dilemma. Please proceed with caution.
I appreciate your religious concern/question, it does mean a lot and it is a sign of faith. May Allah (SWT) make it easy for you, ameen.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.