Question 1: Hello I have a question and I need an answer please I found out my wife was cheating and fell in love with a guy while I was gone for. Month on duty I’m. Soldiers Nd once I found out she left and after a week the other guy told her he doesn’t want to do any thing with her then she came back to me and says that she did tawba and she wants to be. Muslim now. Please help I’m in love with her but I don’t know what to do or believe even she says she wants to be. Muslim and she is sorry but every time I tell her some thing she yells and disrespect me and tell her to quit smoking cigarettes she doesn’t stop and then on top of that she says she wants me to be a Muslim then she will come back a and when I say ok even tho I’m Muslim she gets mad and don’t talk to me and she refuses to tell me the truth of what happens and blames it on me pls help
Time: September 30, 2013 at 5:21 PM
Question2. ASSALAM ALAIKUM MERA BHI THODA KUCH AISSA HEE SAWAAL HAI. , BURREE THARAH MERA DIL TOOT GAYA INN HAALAAT SE AB THO IBAADAT MEIN BHI ,
AISA NA HO K MAIN MUNKIR HO JAAOON.
As Salaamu Alaikum Sheikh, I was married and my wife cheated on me (I caught her with another man SUB’HANA ALLAH!, she had all my trust MashaAllah, but guess what? sadly, this is what I had to end up seeing).I tried to calm myself down before I whooped that individual (the man), and Alhamdulelloh I was able to control my anger and all I said to him was, leave my place asap!. the sister did not say a word to me because she got caught off guard and did not try to explain herself; and honestly, I couldn’t confront her because i thought i would have done something that would have harmed her due to my anger and jealousy; and she never spoke to me the entire week (we stayed in the same house and in the same bed, but didn’t talk after the incident). couple of days later, I had to talk to her about it but she did not tell me the truth and I kept encountering weird things about her; for instance, when I called her, she did not answer, not interested in adult relations, having thousands of
excuses on why she doesn’t answer my calls, not time for me but friends and family. The situation continued like this for almost a year. She wanted a divorce and I tried to walk things out for the sake of my daughter, even though it would have been the opposite (me wanting to divorce her after all these) but she insisted and finally we are divorced. Here comes the questions Sheikh, what is the Islamic perspective on cheating on your spouse, and what could I have done better after all I did and still she didn’t want me? For the sake of my daughter, is it okay if I move on with my life and find a potential spouse and remarry? Some of my friends and family members have been telling me that I will abandon my daughter if I remarry and that is bad in front of Allah? But what I don’t understand is this, I have tried many years since we have been divorced to be with her for the sake of my precious daughter but the sister rejected it; how would that be bad in front of Allah for having a
child with her makes me not move on with my life and remarry? Alhamdollellah that you are here Sheikh to solve issues the Muslims are facing. May the Almighty reward you; Amin.
Time: October 23, 2013 at 6:44 PM
Answer: Walaikumsalam,
It is sad to hear your problems. I feel more sad for your child. I also feel even more sad for the one that lies, cheats and lowers him/herself to such filth.
Although some may say to forgive the lying and cheating partner, forgiveness itself would not remove the problem. It appears that you are not satisfying her wishers, whatever the wishers may be. Such wishers are not always related to adult relations. It could be that she wanted someone to talk to, needed more affection, etc. Therefore it would be best that you sit down with her and ask her where you went wrong, so you can improve upon your weaknesses.
Thereafter make arrangements for a peaceful divorce. Unless you feel you can live with a liar and cheater as well as a person that does not value the father of the home. In the Eyes of Allah (SWT) it is better to move away from liars and cheaters and those that pollute our faith as well as innocent children. Those that are giving you advice on the contrary, i have no clue as to their religious bases for it. Wrong must not be supported. People insisting on evil must be abandoned, mose so when we can let go on them and their filthy ways. The key would be to have your daughter safe and secure and getting you back on track to living a peaceful as well as an emotionally secure life.
Be calm and rational in your decision making. May Allah (SWT) make you matters easy for you, ameen.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.