Q: Salaam brother or sister, I know much has been written about this topic, nevertheless I sincerely hope you can help me with my question as the problem is making me deeply worried. My sister has caused alot ot trouble for my family. Her first marriage ended in divorce and the blame was with her as she did something very shameful. My brother in law was my fathers family and since then we have been estranged from them and obviously been shamed. Her behaviour since then hasnt been great. Now my sister is insisting on marrying a muslim man from another culture, a pakstani. She says he is very religous and accepts her knowing all her flaws as they have known each other for years. She says she has done istikhara namaaz with a positive verdict. My father passed away some time after the divorce and since then my mother is feeling under enormous pressure to raise us alone and is outright refusing the proposal. My sister is saying it is a sin to refuse a good compatible muslim man but my mother is saying that many members of our community have reported seeing my sister with a pakistani male and my mother unknowingly denied these reports as untrue and now the marriage would prove her a liar and cause more shame to our reputation. She is looking for a compatble religious man from our culture but my sister has been refusing.  Please tell me whats right and how to support my family. Is my mother right in refusing for her reasons?

Time: Monday May 27, 2013 at 3:11 pm

A: Walaikumsalam,

Islam looks at a woman that has never been married differently from that of  a woman that has been divorced.  Your sister appears to be dating this man. Rather than helping her away from zina (adultary), you are wanting to save-face for the family/culture. In the process, you may contribute to a possible greater damage to the family name, as well as her faith and the faith of the man she appears to be dating.

It is best she marries this man than commits zina.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.