Q:
Salam aleikom wa rahmatulah wa barakatuh.
I am need of more advice.If you could provide any advice, I would be so grateful insha’Allah.
I feel I stuck in a problem and I’m not able to solve it. I am having problems with my mother. I know what Islam says about parents in regards to respect and honor and I am trying really hard to obey that.I know that “Heaven is under the feet of mother”.
Im 35 year old man Im married since 3 years and I have son.
I would like to know if my mother does she has right to abuse me only because of her high position in islam?
My mother is using this point in every subject of my life. Does she has right to blackmail me that if I will not listen to her she will not make dua for me and she will curse me so I will not be happy in my life because she is my mother and she has all rights on me?
I must mention that it is impossible to use any reasonable facts in conversation with my mother because she doesnt accept anything from anybody.
My mother says and does things that are very abusive, and it hurts really very much.I need her in my life but she purposely and constantly tries to hurt me.
She lives with my siblings in another country.I will shortly describe her actions
– She is calling me minimum 8 times/day at the same time she is abusing my in this conversations
– She doesn’t let me concentrate in my work because of this I face so many problems in my work
– Because of Her methods she took me far away from Allah and prayers
– Because of her abusive behaviour I almost divorce with my wife
– My Mother is making my siblings against of me
– Because of her I become depressed
– Because of her phone call conversations and arguments I had few times car accident – one of them very dangerous
– Because of her actions I’m not able to be happy in any part of my life I lost taste of my life
– I become sick with my health because problems with my mother
– my Mother is interrupting every subject of my life
-My Mother expect to be respected and worshiped more than we all are able to do
I must mention that I was supporting my mother and my family all my life (my parents are divorced) and now my mother is making my siblings as my enemies.My mother is not old person she is only 53 years.
I pray and try so hard to ignore her comments (and she says very nasty comments, she targets me out of all my siblings, she makes problems in my marriage).
I tried my best as it is mentioned in Quran to be patient and to be as good as it is possible but my life constantly become worst.
I feel hopeless and I really don’t know what to do.
My Mother is blackmailing me if I’m not doing what she is cursing me and I know that in islam that power of mother’s dua is so strong so Im afraid that if I will disagree with her she will curse me in front of Allah.
I can’t live like that anymore, please help with any words of advice. I’m sick of all this everyday, and I start to be so far away from Allah.
I have never been so miserable.
Thank You so very much.
XXXXX XXXXXXXXXX
(name withheld)
Time: Wednesday March 17, 2010 at 2:00 am
A: Your question has been sent to more than one site. We have been told that it has been answered elsewhere.
Merely note:
A person with a high position in Islam does not abuse anyone.
Curses only go through if the person is making it has valid grounds. If they do not have valid reasons, then it can hurt the one making such curses.
Although you need patience, you need not hurt the Amanah (trust) Allah has placed upon you with your family. This is now oppression upon your side from them.
You need a good personal counselor to hep you with your matter. Websites are not going to give you maximum benefit, for you have truly deep-rooted problems that don’t come with a quick-fix solution, unfortunately.
May Allah make your matters easy for you, ameen.
Allah Certainly Knows Best.