Q: sir, my wife talks to someone else on the phone. although i have caught her 4-5 times. whwnever she goes to her home it starts again. she is normal to me but finds reasons so that she gets time to talk to him. it,s been quite atime that i have explained her and asked her not to repeat it. i am quite confused in this regard. could you please help me as to what i should do.
Time: Friday February 17, 2012 at 9:57 pm

A: Islam wants us to marry people that have good character. Character flaws are very difficult to put right. Experience has shown the following: some people have a predisposition towards doing wrong – talking to strangers, texting people that they know they should not be texting, etc. Such people do not intend to cheat, they mean well when communicating with strangers, however such people are spiritually dangerous in that, when the wrong (haram) variable confronts them as they talk to these strangers, the ‘evil act’ often gets committed due to the tempting nature of such communication. Thus is why the Quran states, do not even get close to zina, i.e. do not even talk to those you should not be talking to. Such people often do end up cheating or doing things that would cause embarrassment to the self/family.

Character flaws are difficult to put right, if you do not have children, you should evaluate if you want to continue a relationship with such a person. If you do have children, you may need to evaluate your role as a father and become more active in ensuring the very best for your children. Having children may prevent you from letting go of her, nevertheless you should continue to help her away from bad actions and fulfill her halal needs so as to eliminate her talking to and possibly even acting out with ‘strange’ men.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.