Q: Assalaamu Aalaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu..

MY PROBLEM

Alhamdulillah, I am a beared man of 25 years, offers 5 times salath and want to marry a girl who is also soo religious AND DIVORCEE and of other state. And want to marry her in every possibility. I have given her many words and promises that i will marry her.

first, i thought of not saying my mom that the girl is divorcee, but, unknowingly i said my mom.
Now, my mom and sisters are against my marriage with divorcee girl.

As a muslim I can’t break my words given for a girl and other side is my Mother.

So, please suggest me, whether I can go against my mother for marrying a divorcee.

What does Islam commands me from doing this act.

But, the girl is completely in trust of marrying me and she is very much serious towards marrying me. all her family members accepted me but the problem is from my family.

Sugges / Guide me as per the true Islamic teachings.

jazakallahu khairan kaseera

Time: December 25, 2014 at 12:45 AM

A: Walaikumsalam,

It appears that you are a good young religious man. It also appears that you wish to do the correct thing. Doing the correct thing can be sometimes difficult for us all. We must exercise patience and good judgment, especially in matters that may prove difficult once embarked upon. Kindly take the following advice that has been derived from hadith of our Rasool (SAW).

1. If you have not been married, the ideal condition would be for you to marry a woman that has not been married prior. This way, both of you can experience the newness of nikah together.
2. If finding a moral woman that has not been married remains difficult then in such a situation marrying a woman that has been divorced will be recommended.
3. Parents cannot discriminat as a result of her being married prior. However, if she has character flaws, behavior(s) that limits her in being the best religious person possible, then under such circumstances your parents can advise you to marry someone else.
4. The promise to marry someone does not mean that marriage has to definitely take place. By virtue of example, people get engaged not with the intention that they are going to break up the engagement. Yet engagements break because parties may have realized that there is a factor of incompatibility that will result in greater chaos than satisfaction. Thus, your promise alone does not limit an alternative cause of action.
5. It appears that your judgment is being clouded via ‘love.’ It would be best that you go for some in-house counseling that is under the supervision of a good scholar so as to help you make a decision that neither of you will regret over an extended period of time. Kindly share the above with them as well, so as to maintain is religious perspective.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.