Q:Assalamu alykum,
I have a really serious issue here. I got homeschooled from 8th grade and it was an online school that I did. Ever since then, I did lose all my friends in real life because we moved away and everything. To make a long story short, lonliness got the best of me and I got addicted to the internet and I started to do haram things like listening to music and making friends with guys online. It is a despicable thing to do and I wish I could have stopped then but I was really lonely with no  friends anymore and I barely went outside. I used to make fake online profiles though so nobody saw my face.

Well…I am 17 years old now I am in a fix. After having a 2yr break from talking to guys online, I got into it again. I obviously has a fake profile as to not show my real identity and I actually made a profile as a 19yr old  boy. I ended up meeting another boy from Texas who is gay and I fell in love with him. Another two years have passed by since then and we’re really close but he wants to meet and I have no idea what to do. Should I walk away for the sake of Allah and save myself from a horrendous sin but get heart broken or keep lying and making excuses so as to not hurt him? I am really in a fix and I can’t ask anyone for help.
Jazakallah..Please get back to me. Wasalamo alaykum warahmatullah.

Time: March 12, 2014 at 11:57 AM

A: Walaikumsalam,

We appreciate you sending us your query. Your trust in us means a lot to us.

Like any other school system, home schooling too has its drawbacks. One of them is related to not taking out the time to socialize the child with real life friends. Additionally, missing out on school experiences and group settings also sometimes limits a child’s full potential and development. If parents better monitor the socializing aspect as well as ensure that the homeschooling curriculum is in par with the school system that is part of their district/state, then in such a situation homeschooling can be a great asset.

• Your main issue is not homeschooling. It appears that you are female (by the way you signed your name,) it also appears that your close friendship with this guy is to fill a void in your life. Humans are in need of companionship — be they male of female. Islam has established parameters. Desperation causes people to sometimes do things they would otherwise not do. In your moment of loneliness, you sort comfort in a male while posing as a male while being a female. (We can only assume that he by knows you are female!) Although one must not judge you, you must judge yourself and ask yourself two simple questions: Why did i do this?What is my religious solution? As you respond, remember, self reflection coupled with sincerity is a cure in Islam. ‘The answer (truth) is in the heart of every believer.’ (Hadith)

It is also apparent that you want out and do not want to lie anymore. This is blessing. Inform the friend in Texas the following: I am sorry to have seemingly lead you on. I was lonely, i needed a friend and i thank you for being their for me. I am sorry but i cannot continue anymore in such a manner. For the improvement of my spirituality and mental health, i find it best we go our separate ways. Once you have made the decision to move on, change your phone number, change your email address and start a new beginning. Yes, at first it will be lonely for you. So find new things to do in this spare time of yours.

Additionally, ask Allah (SWT) to forgive you and the rest of us for our sins. Start performing all your prayers on time. Join a volunteer group and work with the poor and empower the lives of the needy. Spend extra time reading the Quran, Ibn Kathir’s tafseer and books that relate to the lives of the various prophets (Peace be upon them all.)

Remember, you are not alone. Be strong in your good choices. May Allah make things easy for you, ameen.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

P.S. It is my hope that the readers would comment supporting the person with words of encouragement. Least we can do is help with a prayer. Readers, i know you would read the question with a sharper eye and poke holes in my response. I prefer to read the main points. Help with an appropriate response without judgement