Q: I just wanted to ask when a man and women are married in islam is it allowed for a husband to experiment with sex on his wife? For example they live in a modern society and its common for men to pick up on different types of sex positions or even sex desires. However if the wife doesnt feel comfortable with things that the husband is desiring to do and sometimes she has no choice but to do it, is that allowed? The desires that the husband is wanting is more what he had seen in a porn video so i won’t mention what they are. but to be honest they are sick so please give me an answer if a wife to obey his commands on such things which makes a wife feel sick and she is told to do without a choice. i know a wife should fulfill her husbands satisfaction, but is he allowed to do all this? Thanx.

Time: Tuesday February 21, 2012 at 3:35 am

A: The Quran makes clear that different positions are permissible so long as the private organ of each person goes in the place that it is meant to go into.   It is better that husband and wife try out new ‘things’ instead of going to strangers to have such desires fulfilled.  Likewise, it is better to try out new things that are halal than viewing others doing the same or more evil actions. Thus, a husband and wife can do many things they desire between themselves, so long as they do not take part in sodomy and that which is directly prohibited.

If you are not comfortable doing certain things due to the pain etc., merely voice out this opinion. This is your religious privilege.

There is principle in deen: one cannot obey the creation of Allah in matters that cause disobedience to Allah (SWT.) Thus, if you are asked to commit towards forbidden actions, merely explain to him that a few moments of pleasure would gain both of you the wrath of Allah (SWT.) Create new ways to make yourselves happy.

Kindly do not think I am not with you on matters of your discomfort/displeasure. At the same time I would like to see your relationship workout in manner that gives both of you maximum satisfaction. I think your problem can possibly be resolved with continual positive communication. Be calm when talking such matters with him. Research makes clear; men are more visual than woman and thus like to act out what they see in media, etc. Women have a superior acumen towards expression and communication as it relates to sharing their personal sentiments. Use your female skills to your advantage in convincing him that there are better and halal ways to do what you both are doing in your privacy. This would gain both of you worldly pleasure, as well as a better paradise, amen.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.