Know Your Deen

Islamic QA for North America

‘Marriage without (personal) consent’

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Q: Can ones family force them into Marriage without there consent? Especially when my sisters in Islam have the rights to accept it or not ( correct me if im wrong) and I feel like they should understand and Realize that at the end of the day theyre going to put an Individual into a position they dont want to be in because it makes them happy. How should they say ‘no’ without actually being disrespectful and end up messing things up in the family? I understand why sometimes family end up telling people who to marry and it works but when they force because they have a mission to complete or just to Use one for something then after theres no blessing and the individual is clueless and in a position they never wished for how can they avoid it before its too late? Thank you so much Imam May allah Bless you with everything you desire. Ameen.

Time: Friday September 16, 2011 at 11:58 pm

A: The question you have posed is becoming constant from the side of our youth. No person can be forced into Nikah (marriage.) Just as you would explain to your parents why you wish to go to a certain college, buy a particular car, etc, explain to them politely why you want or do not want to marry a particular person. Never be rude, always be open to suggestions from them. If it requires that you would involve a mature/objective third party, by all means you should do so. Base your choices on religion/piety. Only say no if you are not attracted and this lack of attraction would cause marital conflict/spousal abuse, cheating, etc.

We do understand that lots of people marry for issues other than marriage. Example, secure finances, employment matters, visas, tradition, culture, etc. Likewise, i also understand that many wo/man resent being used for the selfish reasons. All these concerns must be addressed in a fair manner to concerned parties. This too is part of your islamic right.

Additionally, you may find your answer by going here.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

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