Q: i am a muslim and i am in a relationship with a muslim guy since eight months. by mistake form four months we have sort of physical relationship but not yet have intercourse with him. 20 days before we were very close to it then i stopped him immediately thinking of the islam. now i am regretting it much and dont want to do any haraam further.i am just 17 and he is also studying. we cant tell our parents now about our relationship but to avoid falling in zina we both want to do nikaah as in islam it is also a sin to talk to a stranger.i want to ask you can we do nikaah without telling my parents and relatives. will be it right in islam.every time when i met him i had always a fear of allah but still i commit sort of big mistakes.please help me know the right path directed by allah and let me know can i do nikaah with the same person 4 years later for pleasing our parents. it will be very kind of you if you reply me soon and right and in favour of islam.

Time: Sunday December 19, 2010 at 10:56 am
A: Your age requires you to discuss such matters with your parents.

Your regret of doing poor choices  is good. Ask Allah for forgiveness. You have a great future, do not waste your time and energy on boys/girls. Stay focused on making yourself a better person. Learn the things that make a woman successful in matters that pertain to woman and society. This is critical for you to do — mainly if you want to be successful in both — religion and worldly matters.

At 17, the boy/girl may seem perfect to you, as you mature, you would realize that this may prove as a false notion. Life is too precious and too serious for it to be used as a relational experiment. Respect yourself and make good choices. Men/woman respect those that give respect to themselves. This requires you to value yourself and treat yourself with respect as it relates to your marital choices as and overall future. (In all fairness, why must ‘your’ man or society respect you when you do not respect yourself/religion?)

See this previous post as well as this post that may be of interest to you on this matter. May Allah (SWT) assist you in doing the right thing, ameen.

wasalam