Know Your Deen

Islamic QA for North America

Harrassment by Father-in-Law

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Q: Assalamualikum Imam (Muhammed) Shoayb, I am writing this mail in great distress.I am married and have a four year old son.My father in law also resides with us till now.one year into my marriage i started getting uncomfortable in the presence of my father in law.He used to get too close i my space and had a habit of walking into our room unannounced.I noticed he did not have the kind of affection towards his daughters that he showed me. He never hugged his daughters tight enough but walked too much in my space.I firmly told him many times i do not like hugging and stay away.He would stay in hallways not giving space to pass etc.i discussed this with my husband and he was extremely upset.he told me to be rude and stay away from him.His sisters said i have to be rude.all in all i felt extremely uncomfortable.He got a new phone and started taking my pictures while i would be studying or having lunch when my husband would be at work. He never did this in my husbands presence.Then last evening my fears came true and my world fell apart.My 4 year old was sitting with me at the dinning table when he came from behind and hugged me and kissed me on the side of my neck and tried to grope.i screamed and he started saying sorry.i ran and ocked myself with my son.later he told my husband that its a misunderstanding and she is my daughter in law.Imam i am shaken.my parents passed away and i wouldnt have stayed a minute had i had a place to go.my husband is a caring supported person and he believes me.What are my rights as a married woman regarding this sistuation imam?Where did i go wrong?Kindly give a khudba regarding these vices.also i would appreciate it if my identity is not revealed. I am shaken to the core and disgusted. regards.

A: Wa Alaikum Salaam. You have rights as a woman. Based on what you have said, ask your husband to award you the privacy of living separately from your fatherinlaw. A woman is entitled to safety and privacy just like any and every other individual. When your safety is undermined, as it appears to be from your description, it now becomes your right to refuse to be alone with your father-in-law; it is your right to only have him appear before you in the presence of your husband. I hope you would act upon this for your safety and security. Why do you need separation from him? Because there is very strong Islamic opinion that states that if you and him ever touch in such a manner, and there is a spark of desire (shahwat), your nikah with your husband can be very well broken. Please consult with a mufti regarding this matter as soon as possible. Kindly also inform your husband to check on this last claim as well. This is your Islamic right and it is an absolute necessity to get this issue resolved quickly and completely.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

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