Know Your Deen

Islamic QA for North America

‘i love you hun but i aint your father”

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Q: My wife went to parents house for a holiday in XXXXXX (country name committed) and she met her her ex  got pregnant. she came back to Germany and when we back calculated we figured i could not have never been the dad.  after talking to her she admitted smashing around.  i love this child but i do not want to be the father of this child. a local shiek said that since the baby is born in my marriage i have to be the father. how can this be? i am so done imaam that i want divorce since we dont have any other kids. This breach of trust i can never get over. thanx salams

A: Under general circumstances, we should not force people to reveal their wrongs. Under ideal conditions, we should also not talk of the ills we have taken part in. (Derived hadith)

If you do what is called the Li’an, than under such circumstances you can remove yourself from the category of being the father of this child. In such an instance, the child will be attributed to her name.

Li’an is an oath you both take in from of a Qadhi (judge) or a board of qualified religious scholars as to weather this child is yours or not yours.  In addition to the li’an and her admitting that you are not the father, the judges can ask for  DNA samples to ensure that both parties are indeed speaking the truth. Although DNA samples do not have the same weight as both of your admissions and oaths, it can add weight to this matter.

Allah Certainly Knows Best.

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